When I was acting up, my mother used to tell me, "I brought you into this world, and I will take you out. I gave you life, and I can also take it." So my son was acting up and talking back to me. Now I'm being charged with murder. I don't understand. I thought it was okay to kill your own kids.
Why can't Pooh Bear catch a date?
Because he is always talking about his honey.
A teenage guy is taking a girl to a dance. First, he goes to buy her flowers, but there’s a really long line at the florist. Finally, he buys them.
Then, he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a really long line for that, too. After a few hours, he gets the tux.
That night, he picks up the girl and they go to the school for the dance. There’s a long line to get in that goes halfway around the school. A while later, they finally get in. They dance and talk for a while, then the guy gets thirsty, so he goes over to the table to get punch. There is no punch line.
Hi guys, so today I have not thought of a joke, and I'm not really sure what to do, so I thought I would do kinda a blog sort of thing, so hope you enjoy, and you don't have to read this!
So I woke up this morning and heard this weird noise, and it was my dad building me a new gymnastics bar so I can have uneven bars, which I am so excited about! And I am so glad that you guys have been nice and liking my jokes and stuff, but also, make sure to comment below if you want to tell me what kind of jokes you want and what you want me to do, and also, feel free to talk to me! Love y'all!!!
There are two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?" The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"
Did you hear the one about the deaf person?
Me: No.
That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.
Where do sex addicts go when they need to talk? Hoe-and-Tell.
My wife left a note on the fridge. The note read, "It's not working." I don't know what she's talking about. I opened the fridge, and it worked fine!
I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick. She still isn't talking to me.
dissabled man- stands up
blind man- “you can stand?”
deaf man- “you can see?”
mute man- “you can hear?”
dissabled man- “you can talk?”
doctor- “what the actual fuck”
other doctor- “FUCK THIS I QUIT!”
I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.
*in the hospital*
Paralyzed kid: I'm out!
*walks out the room*
Blind kid: You can walk?!
Mute kid: You can see?!
Deaf kid: You can talk?!
Doctor: Wut the f**k?
Slavery has existed in the western world for 3 centuries, but in the Arab regions it has existed before and is still going on, so why don’t people talk about it?
Because it’s only bad when white people do it.
Unknown be like: "Wah wah, I'm too scared to talk to girls in real life, so I bully random tweens I find online to make me feel better... what a shame."
What do you get if you talk to a Down syndrome person face to face at close distance?
Soaked...
If Hillary and Biden got locked in a room together, all they would talk about is how to ruin America and make a plan to steal children.
Luckily for your mirrors can't talk and luckily for you they can't laugh either
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Nothing because fish cant talk
Can watersharky and Gwen comment on this? I need to talk to you guys.
Did you hear about the orphan who ran away from home?
Wait a minute! What am I talking about?
