New Take Care Jokes

Q: What do you call an owner that can't take care of their cat? A: A impurrefect owner.

hahahahahha

Why did the Polish urologist cut his cock off with a knife?

To take care of his erectile dysfunction.

How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car? Open a pizza shop 🍕

Normal girl staying her opinion. My name is Jade Harris. I don’t know if you guys know it but “rape” jokes is really starting to get sexist and could lead to people getting raped. IT IS MY OPINION PEOPLE DON’T HATE ME! 😡. People are talking about how men are more better than women but men and women are both good, some one posted about how they hate the media being about women and other bull crap but fuck it I hate the media being about both genders. And people sound like fucking rapist here!!! Some boy did story time and then said women are weak and I can rape a women if I feel like it and shit! But know one knows what it feels like to be a women? Only women do. 😠. Women have to have kids with men of course but it is hard to be a like that. 1 we grow up just the same as men and men don’t always get judge for dressing except for that stupid pants were we can see ur underwear shit which is. Pt style. Women are the ones who pay the bills, lose half of there energy and MOST of the time take care of the kids and work for a living men do too. But women get raped and harassed and molested and sexual assaulted/battery/abuse, and when a women wants to dress up how she feels she gets slit shamed for it. So really being a women is harder will being both genders are. Facts!!!

Little Johnny is walking in the hallway and goes in his brothers room and catches him watching something so he asks “what you watching” his brother replies “ nothing “ and drops his phone but the he gets a text from his teacher texted him a picture of her naked saying “ after school come fuck me “ so Johnny looks and says “ ew I’m telling mom” and he ran with his brothers phone and showed his mom and his mom said “ok johnny I’ll take care of you brother “ and she told him to leave and he did and his brother ran in his moms room naked and his mom said “oh that’s big how about you do what your teacher told you to do to her to me” and a few hours later Johnny heard weird noises coming from the room so he walked in and saw them (his brother and mom) having sex so he closed the door and walked away

ok Gwen ill be offline for a while.... so if anyone by my name types anything its a fake. the only way u know its me if i say one of my nicknames. ok so yea take care of my account while im gone. BYE!!!!

A girl was going through some really bad health issues at her house. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital. Her husband found out about this after work and went to check on her. When he got there, the desk lady immediately pointed down the hall to a doctor. The guy walked up to the doctor, "Are you the one taking care of my wife?" The doctor glanced away from his papers, "Yes, that would be me. But I am afraid that she is in very bad condition. I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that she will have to be wheeled around in a wheel chair. Also, she can't eat normally. Taking care of her will become very hard. Basically ot will be like taking care of a big baby." Shocked, the guys says, "Wait, if that's the bad news, than what is the good news?" The doctor goes, "I'm just kidding with you, she died!"

Mom: Anna let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time and you the other half that way it will all be fair and I don't have to put up with this crying, I've already got 7 others to take care of.

Anna: I do mom. I have Fred(younger brother) go up and I go down!

Mom: Good. NOW HOW 'BOUT THE REST OF YOU GO PLAY OUTSIDE IT'S BEAUTIFUL OUT THERE IT'S THE WARMEST IT'S BEEN ALL YEAR, 45 DEGREES BELOW 0!

Kids: WOW! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!

Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.

FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS

Outdoor Entertaining by Patty O.

Over the Mountaintop by Hugo First

Plumbing for Idiots by Duane Pipes

Music Theory by Amanda Lynn Player

Meterology 101 By Wendy Reign and Sonny Daze

Oh God By Dixie Rect

Please Dont Stop By Craven Moorehead

Life And Times Of A Porn Star By Dixie Normous

Right Stuff By Dang Lin-Wang

How To Take Care of Your Cat By Connie Lingus

Right Way 2 Orgasm By Buster Cherry

The Unwanted Child By Brooke N Rubbers

What is a good night sleep and what do I have for you walk home from home and walk walk home and get a good night and night sleep good day today and walk home and walk walk home and take care and walk walk home 🏠 was good fun night night I had dinner 🍽 night night love 💗

I was going to an expensive dinner with my friends girlfriend because she really wanted to go but he just got out of surgery and he said take care of her so I said will do bro I’ll bring her back fuller that a topped up water bottle