Surgery

Surgery Jokes

Penis

A few men have curved penises, but they can fix that problem by straightening it out.

Patient

Patient: Sorry I'm so nervous, this is my first surgery.

Doctor: Oh, don't worry, mine too!

Year

But you could get plastic surgery and look 20 years younger. With that, no one will suspect you!

Surgeon

What do you call a Barbie doll that’s wearing scrubs?

A plastic surgeon. 😷

Thesaurus

A book went to the doctor’s office and said: “Doctor, doctor, I’ve got thesaurus throat ever.”

Fetus

Q: What's the difference between a fetus and an onion?

A: One makes you cry when you chop it into pieces.

Kidney

Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?

Friend

My friend is so ugly, she got surgery twice, but not even that could fix her.

China

China is as fake as bitches with plastic surgery, and they talk about body positivity.

Anesthesia

What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?

The anesthesia takes time to put you under.

Anesthesia

What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?

The anesthesia takes a while to put you under.

Star

I never liked unnatural adult stars with implants and face surgeries because they look photoshopped, and they always need a ton of lube to get into due to how plastic they are.

Cancer

I walked into the doctor's surgery and he said to me, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." I said, "Capricorn." He said, "Nah, you got cancer."

Cancer

Doctor: I'm sorry, but your surgery will cost a lot of money.

Buuuuut what's this behind your ear?

Oh, it's still cancer.

Cancer

A transgender woman with cancer of the tits only has to pay for half the operation.