Why did the Polish urologist cut his cock off with a knife?
To take care of his erectile dysfunction.
Patient: Sorry I'm so nervous, this is my first surgery.
Doctor: Oh, don't worry, mine too!
But you could get plastic surgery and look 20 years younger. With that, no one will suspect you!
What do you call a Barbie doll that’s wearing scrubs?
A plastic surgeon. 😷
A book went to the doctor’s office and said: “Doctor, doctor, I’ve got thesaurus throat ever.”
Q: What's the difference between a fetus and an onion?
A: One makes you cry when you chop it into pieces.
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces.
Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?
My friend is so ugly, she got surgery twice, but not even that could fix her.
Imagine Michael Jackson having kids? Would they come out Black or white or plastic?
China is as fake as bitches with plastic surgery, and they talk about body positivity.
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes time to put you under.
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes a while to put you under.
I never liked unnatural adult stars with implants and face surgeries because they look photoshopped, and they always need a ton of lube to get into due to how plastic they are.
So when Kim Kardashian went into the ocean, the lifeguard said, "No plastic littering!"
I walked into the doctor's surgery and he said to me, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." I said, "Capricorn." He said, "Nah, you got cancer."
Doctor: I'm sorry, but your surgery will cost a lot of money.
Buuuuut what's this behind your ear?
Oh, it's still cancer.
A transgender woman with cancer of the tits only has to pay for half the operation.
Well, we've removed all of the excess fat from your body, and all that's left, I'm afraid, is the wig, Mrs. Trump.
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
He got so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into legos and let kids play with him for a change.
