Surgery jokes
Me: Looks like a girl, sure as h3ll I don't sound like one.
Michael Jackson: Looks like a boy, sure as h3ll don't sound like one.
That [is] what we have i[n] commen, but if you mix up my gender I won't give a F about it. Michael Jackson not so much : )
If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you’re a total hero. But donate five, and suddenly everyone is yelling. Geez!
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox, and nobody raises an eyebrow.
A few men have curved penises, but they can fix that problem by straightening it out.
Why did the Polish urologist cut his cock off with a knife?
To take care of his erectile dysfunction.
Patient: Sorry I'm so nervous, this is my first surgery.
Doctor: Oh, don't worry, mine too!
But you could get plastic surgery and look 20 years younger. With that, no one will suspect you!
What do you call a Barbie doll that’s wearing scrubs?
A plastic surgeon. 😷
A book went to the doctor’s office and said: “Doctor, doctor, I’ve got thesaurus throat ever.”
Q: What's the difference between a fetus and an onion?
A: One makes you cry when you chop it into pieces.
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces.
Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?
My friend is so ugly, she got surgery twice, but not even that could fix her.
Imagine Michael Jackson having kids? Would they come out Black or white or plastic?
China is as fake as bitches with plastic surgery, and they talk about body positivity.
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes time to put you under.
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes a while to put you under.
I never liked unnatural adult stars with implants and face surgeries because they look photoshopped, and they always need a ton of lube to get into due to how plastic they are.
So when Kim Kardashian went into the ocean, the lifeguard said, "No plastic littering!"
I walked into the doctor's surgery and he said to me, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." I said, "Capricorn." He said, "Nah, you got cancer."