Surgery

Surgery jokes

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If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you’re a total hero. But donate five, and suddenly everyone is yelling. Geez!

Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox, and nobody raises an eyebrow.

A few men have curved penises, but they can fix that problem by straightening it out.

Why did the Polish urologist cut his cock off with a knife?

To take care of his erectile dysfunction.

Patient: Sorry I'm so nervous, this is my first surgery.

Doctor: Oh, don't worry, mine too!

But you could get plastic surgery and look 20 years younger. With that, no one will suspect you!

A book went to the doctor’s office and said: “Doctor, doctor, I’ve got thesaurus throat ever.”

Q: What's the difference between a fetus and an onion?

A: One makes you cry when you chop it into pieces.

Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?

What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?

The anesthesia takes time to put you under.

What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?

The anesthesia takes a while to put you under.

I never liked unnatural adult stars with implants and face surgeries because they look photoshopped, and they always need a ton of lube to get into due to how plastic they are.

So when Kim Kardashian went into the ocean, the lifeguard said, "No plastic littering!"

I walked into the doctor's surgery and he said to me, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." I said, "Capricorn." He said, "Nah, you got cancer."

Doctor: I'm sorry, but your surgery will cost a lot of money.

Buuuuut what's this behind your ear?

Oh, it's still cancer.