“Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?”
No sun.
Sun Jokes
Official flag of Great Britain? The Union Jack.
Official flag of Australia? The Southern Cross.
Official flag of Canada? The Maple Leaf.
Official flag of Japan? The Sun.
Official flag of Orange County, California? The Nazi Symbol.
What do you call an ass on a beach?
Sandy cheeks!
Why did the rapper wear sunglasses to the concert?
Because his lyrics were so fire, he needed protection!
Why did the rapper go to the beach?
To drop some WAVES.
The people in Florida yelling "White Power!" is amusing, because when they get permanent sunburn from the Florida sun, they are not white anymore.
There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.
What do you get when a topless blonde rubs sun tanning oil on a topless brunette?
Your camera.
Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don't peel.
Why couldn't the sunflower ride its bike? It lost its petals!
Roses are red. The sun isn't shining. My mental state is rapidly declining.
You're so brilliant and bright that the Sun wears sunglasses when you're near!
I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.
I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.
I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.
Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology.
You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.
Why does Mao Zedong like the east coast?
Because there is a red Sun in the sky.
You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.
Your hairline goes so far back you have to wear sunscreen.
Yo momma's like a cloud, when she disappears, it's a beautiful sunny day.
Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.
Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.
Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.
Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.
Chuck Norris can toss Jupiter at the Sun with his bare hands.
And he still cannot win a fighting match against Bruce Lee.
