Straight Jokes

A three strangers have opened a gay chat; but if one left the chat, the chat will be closed.

Stranger 3: how to turn a straight guy into a gay guy?

Stranger 1: you can't!

Stranger 2: you can

Stranger 3: how?

Stranger 2: by using the same idea of russian experiment; like in a detention, put him in a closed room full of gay stuff but the difference that he can sleep and he will have a food for 30 days and toilet too.

Stranger 3: great idea, but who can we try first?

Stranger 1: you all gays are evil monsters

Stranger 2: i think the stranger 1 is just a straight spy let's try this experi-

(the chat has been closed by stranger 1)

I have a trans friend. He is in a polymers relationship and would be straight if they had a dick

you know what me and my spine both have in common we are both not straight

I like my boo like I like my packages straight out of the box

Doin your mom doin doin your mom Doin your mom doin doin your mom Doin doin your mom doin doin your mom You know we straight with doin your mom I like your mamas big butt, and I cannot lie. You other brothers can’t deny that she’s fly. We make sexy time, yes and every night I tap that. She saw me butt-naked, now she thinks I’m half black. But your moms the best, the super M.I.L.F. Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain’t a chef And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol But If I were you, I wouldn’t kiss your mom on the mouth at all. She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed. She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I’ll be honest She likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna. She’s so therapeutic. When I need to cure my restlessness I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your moms breastestess. I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song Cause I’m in your house every night doin your mo-om. Doin your mom doin doin your mom Doin your mom doin doin your mom Doin doin your mom doin doin your mom You know we straight with doin your mom Doin your mom doin doin your mom Doin your mom doin doin your mom Doin doin your mom doin doin your mom You know we straight with doin your mom I’m havin sex with your mother That makes me better than you. I’m havin sex with your mother That makes me better than you. Doin your mom doin doin your mom Doin your mom doin doin your mom Doin doin your mom doin doin your mom You know we straight with doin your mom Doin your mom doin doin your mom Doin your mom doin doin your mom Doin doin your mom doin doin your mom You know we straight with doin your mom

Doin your mom doin doin your mom Doin your mom doin doin your mom Doin doin your mom doin doin your mom You know we straight with doin your mom Doin your mom doin doin your mom Doin your mom doin doin your mom Doin doin your mom doin doin your mom You know we straight with doin your mom I’m doin your mom. Yes yours! I first saw her in the Wal-Mart pickin out your drawers. Big Dolly Parton hair like an 80s prom queen But her ass was lookin good all up in those mom-jeans. I approached her in the checkout line, and said yo baby wassup? She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin at her jugs. Five minutes later she agreed to get with me So we went and rocked the minivan like Giggity. Giggity. Giggity. I was ridin your mom like she was Mario Kart. I gave her a lift back to her crib cause her car wouldn’t start. She invited me in the house, and we started makin out again. How many times I tap that ass? OVER 9000! Yeah. She called me Pledge cause I knocked the dust off it. She later made me a sandwich and she cut the crust off it. Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young To be in the bed, butt-naked doin your mom. Doin your mom doin doin your mom Doin your mom doin doin your mom Doin doin your mom doin doin your mom You know we straight with doin your mom

People often ask me what I would do for a klondike bar well I straight up put 5 hijackers on flight 175 before it departed from logan airport at 8:14a.m. on September 11 2001

All the lines on the LGBT flag are straight

You know we straight with doin your mom

I met this kid and he was being bullied by 9 people. I Asked 1 whats going on. They all said another one to bully they all tried hitting me and then my mates which was like 15 of them came in and it was like war all over again.

What’s a gay guy should be scared at? A Straight gay!!!

What’s one thing that gay person scared at? A gay guy that’s straight!

So, I was walking down the path of my life with bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his. One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?" He, then, looks me straight in the eyes, and say,"Raw!"

why is a circle gay ? its not straight

I told my wife* she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked at me surprised

*(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as an helix ruler)

what do you call a lazy gay? someone who comes straight out of the closet,and goes straight to the couch.

Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was and she replied with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless...”. Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed.

The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is and he answered with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless...” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!”

As Sam arrived at the counselors office she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.

I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they're all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there's no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”

Two men are in a rainforest, and one of them is peeing. Suddenly, a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!” He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car, so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened, and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out.” The man went back to the other man and said, “There is no hope, you will die.”