My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.
Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!
A guy was annoyed in a store. I walk up to him and said, "What's wrong, buddy? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned isle!"
Why can't a citizen in communist China, especially a Chinese male who is between 18-29 years old, buy a box of condoms in a drug store in communist China?
Because the condom would be too big for the penis of Chinese men in communist China.
Yo mama so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn't let her leave.
A programmer and his wife.
She says, "We're out of bread. Please go to the grocery store and buy one. And if they've got eggs, get six."
After a while, he's back with six loaves of bread.
The wife asks, "Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?"
He replies, "They had eggs."
A fat man coming in the store.
Waiter: Oh god, not again :|
Fat man: Hi, I would like three fries and 19 burgers.
Waiter: Sorry sir, you will get the owner's store out of stock on food. Can I get you a salad instead?
Fat man: Oh sorry, but I'm the owner, and I have a lot of stocks. For the record, you should get yourself my order. You're skinny af, girl. You trying to be a stick or something?
So a woman walks into a magician's toy store and browses the collection. Among which was a black, phallic-looking object. She brings it to the counter and asks, "what's this?"
The cashier explains that it's a magical dildo that will listen to whatever you say, "fuck me in the ass," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the ass, "fuck me in the pussy," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the pussy, "faster," it'll go faster, "harder," it'll go harder. She bought this magical artifact and went home for a night of fun and pleasure.
After receiving several orgasms from the magical dildo, she'd had enough, and she told it to stop, but it didn't. The dildo continued to penetrate her, it would go harder and faster, but it refused to stop or slow down. In a panic, she ran over to her car and drove to the hospital to get it surgically removed. Her panic made her disregard the traffic rules, and she quickly found herself pulled over by a cop. As she pulled down her window, the cop leaned towards the door and asked "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!?", the woman tried to explain the situation, she told the officer about the magical dildo stuck in her pussy, but the officer didn't believe her, "magical dildo, my ass" he said, and the lady drove home.
☎️ ☎️ ☎️ ☎️ ☎️ ☎️ ☎️ ☎️ 📱 📱 📱 📱 📱 📱 📱 📱 What do you call gay men 👬 👬 👬 👬 👬 👬 👬 👬 👨 👨 👨👨👨 👨 👨👨 👨 👨 receiving anonymous blowjobs at the glory holes 🕳 🕳 🕳 🕳 🕳 🕳 🕳 🕳 🕳 inside a adult book store 📖 📖 📖 📖 📖 📖 📖 📖 🥜 🌭 🥜 🥜 🌭 🥜 🥜 🌭 🥜 🥜 🌭 🥜 🥜 🌭 🥜 🥜 🌭 🥜 🥜 🌭 🥜 🥜 🌭 🥜 🥜 🌭 🥜 🥜 🌭 🥜
🇳🇴 🇳🇴 🇳🇴 🇳🇴 🇳🇴 🇳🇴 🇳🇴 🇳🇴 💆♂️ 💆♂️ 💆♂️ 💆♂️ 💆♂️ 💆♂️ 💆♂️ norwegian massage 😊 😊 😊 😊 😊 😊 😊 😊 ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ 👍 👍 🙌 🙌
Every time I go to the store I look in the deodorant section and my dyslexia acts up. Instead of "antiperspirant," I read "antidepressant." At least I get a bunch of extra snacks out of my shopping mistakes.
An old lady walks into an ice cream store. A clerk greets her and says, "What will it be today, ma'am? We have every flavor you can imagine." The old lady says, "Well, I guess I'd like a quart of chocolate ice cream." The clerk says, "Sorry, ma'am, we're out of chocolate today. Any other flavor we'll have." "Ok," she replies, "Why don't you just give me a pint of chocolate ice cream?" The clerk says a little louder in case she's hard of hearing, "Sorry, ma'am, but we're fresh out of chocolate ice cream." The old lady says, "Oh, ok. Why don't you just get me a cone with one scoop of chocolate ice cream?"
Finally, totally exasperated, the clerk says, "Wait a minute, lady. Can you spell 'Van' as in vanilla?" "Why of course, young man," she says, "V-A-N." "Right," the clerk says, "Can you spell 'Straw' as in strawberry?" "Well of course, 'Straw'," she replied. "Ok, then," he says, "Now spell 'Fuck' as in chocolate." She says, "There's no 'Fuck' in chocolate." He says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you... THERE'S NO FUCKING CHOCOLATE!!!"
Why does the emos mom like taking her son to the store?Because the cashier can scan his wrist for discounts
why do orphan's hate any milk? there dad did not come back for 10 years oh sorry he got lost in the store🤧
one day i seen a little boy walking in the grocery store so i asked if he was ok and he said yes i asked where his parents were and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk isle
Why did the rapper go to the pet store?
To buy a dog for his bark tracks!
What do you call a person that guards a Samsung store?
A Guardian Of The Galaxy :)
I was at a milk store and ordered some milk.
They brought it over but spilled it on me.
I said that was a udder failure!
Where does Captain Hook buy his hook?
At a second-hand store.
So Stephen Hawking walked into a grocery store.
Never mind.
Why did the grandpa leave the house to go to the grocery store?
To get the ice cream for the grandma.
I can’t remember if I already said this or not I might of already said this also this is a true story. So I’m walking into a store in Amish country and there’s this guy with a bear trap then my moms friend says this guys gonna catch some bears then the Amish guy stop looks around and whispers “it’s for democrats”
