Stomach

Stomach jokes

Kid

  • Why don’t I shut myself all the time?

    I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.

    Brother

  • A sister told her brother to walk to the store, buy some candy, and watch a movie with her while eating the candy.

    But he couldn't walk because he has no legs. He couldn't buy candy because he has no arms. He couldn't watch a movie because he was blind, and he couldn't eat because he has no stomach. Who said he was real?

  • 5
  • Baby

  • There were three babies in a mom's stomach. One baby asks, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" The other baby answers, "A doctor. I want to help people. What about you?"

    "I want to be an engineer. I want to make things. What about you?" he asks to the third baby.

    "I want to be a hunter."

    "Why?" the other babies ask.

    "I want to kill the snake that spits on my face."

  • 0
  • Heart

  • They say that "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach," but I find it a lot easier to go through the ribcage.

    Pregnancy

  • When a woman is something weeks or months pregnant and her stomach has a visible bump, everyone rubs her tummy, but no one tickles the husband's balls and says, "Good job, buddy!"

  • 0
  • Fork

  • Fork pierces the flesh. Guided by hunger's demand, Savoury feast waits.

    Tines dig deep within, Seeking the sustenance craved, A mealtime delight.

    Belly grumbles loud, Yearning for nourishment's touch, Fork answers the call.

    Food on the platter, Fork dances with anticipation, To satiate hunger's plea.

    Digestion begins, Fork's journey now complete, Nourishing the soul.

    Why does the fork go? To bring joy to empty hearts, Satiating needs.

    In the stomach's depths, Fork finds purpose and solace, A culinary bond.

    With each mealtime tale, The fork carves memories deep, In stomachs it rests.

  • 1
  • Abortion

  • My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach.

    She asked me "Why the hell did you do that?!?!?" "I wanted to let you know I'm pro abortion."