The man was Indian. He moved to England because he wanted to learn, so got a job at the store. He learned how to say "register," then he was a business man. He learned how to say "59887," then "restaurant," so he learned how to say "fork and knives." So a man came with a knife. The cop came and asked the man which was the killer who killed him. He said, "Him," and pointed to the Indian man. The cop asked, "What did you use?" He said, "Register." The cop asked for ID. "59887." The cop asked, "Anything on you, forks and knife?" He said, "Me me me."
Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in them.
I'm about to tell a dwarf joke, see how short that was.
You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"
How do you fuck a cow?
Find the nearest Karen.
Who can jump the highest?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
What do you call a group of Emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
What jumps and never let's go?
An Emo kid.
I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.
Dead.
Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?
The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.
Why don’t midgets fight? They walk away to be the bigger man.
What’s the difference between a suicide bomber and a feminist? A suicide bomber actually does something when triggered.
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
Boobs are like batteries...
AA will get the job done...
C is bigger than AA...
D is bigger that C...
...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!
Why do dwarfs love penis? It tickles their insides.
How do you get 4 gay guys on a bar stool? You turn it upside down.
How do you get them back off again? You jerk them off.
Some girl just walks into my 6th period geography class. The first thing I think is, "Oh shit! It's mini Regina George without titties!"
Did you know emo kids are the highest jumpers in the world? Some are still up there!
What's long and black?
The line at Popeyes.
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.
The lady says, "Come again!"
The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."
How do you say "Brazier" in German?
Stop 'em from floppin' (German accent)
What happens when a black person gets in a car? The check oil light turns on.
Man: Okay, tell me a joke without the expense of anyone's feelings.
Me: Okay, so an Asian...
