Where was Stephen Hawking during the house fire?
The top of the stairs.
Stephen Hawking walks into a b... nevermind.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for breakfast? His shoulder.
How do u know Stephen Hawking is having a seizure?
He spills coffee on his iPad.
Where would you take Stephen Hawking if he dies, the funeral directors or PC World?
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies?
The Windows shutdown sound plays.
If Stephen Hawking has a heart attack, do you take him to Halfords or A&E?
Why has Stephen Hawking stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? The computer runs.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad role model? -- He doesn't stand for anything.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?
Nothing.
