Start Jokes

What do you call it when a town on the south coast of England sprouts legs and starts walking around the country?

A walkie-Torquay

Random words in my keyboard:

The most annoying part of this game has always been that the players don’t know how much time it takes to get to the table before you start playing them.

A middle eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show, he starts by saying “2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!”

What do you think fish tasted like before women started swimming

How do butts start a conversation?

"Let's cut to the CHASE"

Once there was a midget man jumping on a pothole saying 43,43,43. A kid walks up to the man and says “why are you saying 43,43,43”. The man stops and looks at him then he starts jumping again and says 43,43,43. The kid asked him again and so on. Then the man stops opens the pothole throws the kid in, closed the starts jumping in says 44,44,44!!!

Fella walks past a mental hospital, there all out in the garden behind this big fence . All SHOUTING 13 13 13 13. Ect Over and over again ..

This fella is intrigued sees a little hole in the fence Looks through it .. GETS FUCKING POKED STRAIGHT IN THE EYE ..

Then they all start singing

14 14 14 14 14 14 ;)

A bear and a rabbit are at a bar getting high smoking weed talking about nothing but lies and straight up garbage. and then the bear starts to drink too much damn liquor gets drunk and ask the rabbit can i have one more scotch pretty please? And the rabbit says hell to the naw I'm not about to carry your drunk ass home with me and smell your breath.

There was a dog in the middle of the room so i called it and started to play fetch, then my mother shouted at me for playing with my food. I missed it but it was tasty

Lil Johnny looked in his pants and couldn’t find his fish so he started to yell out lil fishy lil fishy lil fishy they called child support and sent the parents to jail for putting a fish up a child’s butt

My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheese burgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through. So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress I guess :D

Dark Jokes R Like Pupies:

Once they come out they r trash but one it starts to get older that’s when it’s noticed but when it gets to old u either proclaim it dead or never talk about it

( I would never do dat though I love pupies )

How do you start a rave in Etiopia? You put food ceiling and they start jumping.

Se we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of "do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She herd this question to the point were she just says yes without hesitation. Once she had said yes, two kids int he back started laughing. Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you? Kid: Oh were not laughing at that. Kid_2: Were laughing at cancer.

One hot day a cow wanted some shade. He found a tree and started resting under it but there was a chicken bothering him. The cow exclaimed "Moooove", the chicken didn't move, again "Mooooove", and still the chicken wouldn't move. The cow yelled "MOOOOOVE", the chicken turned around and said "FUCKOFF".

A hitman walks into a bar and tells the bartender I m here to assassinate John Tucker. The bartender replies he’s in the restroom. The hit man goes inside the restroom and comes out after 1 hour. The bartender asks him did u kill him? The hitman replies with a sad face “I asked him any last wishes and the guy asked me to allow him to finish his shit as he is half way in passing his stools so I gave him my word that I would wait and so I waited for an hour and when I asked him what’s taking him so long he says he will not be able to finish because he is just getting started”.