Start jokes
I was talking to my Welsh friend the other day, and he suddenly started talking Welsh to me then collapsed after the first few sentences. Turns out he had a stroke.
A man was having a dream. He dreamt about a mystical creature that was commonly known as the god of toast.
When the man woke up, he turned to tell his wife about the dream. When he delivers the "toast god" punchline, his wife shrugged as she faced the opposite direction to the man.
The man turned around also and started sobbing as he realised his marriage is in shambles.
I picked up a document, and I started to feel cold.
I looked down at the document, and it read "DRAFT."
you.
A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
Yo mama got a daughter in a relationship, and I don't have time for you, ASAP, daughter, daughter, or your mother, or your call, or your choice of choice.
How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.
How do you start an Ethiopian rave?
Stick toast to the ceiling.
What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Stop and apply lubrication.
I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story, and I think that something scary is about to happen. I can feel it.
How can you tell if your wife is dead? -- The sex is the same, but the dishes start piling up.
I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging.
Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.
What starts with e, ends with e, and only contains one letter? -- An envelope.
If Al Gore started a math rock band, it should be called Algorhythm.
I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.
I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.
"Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital."
"Aaron, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."
My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.