Stare Jokes

after standing in line staring at mcdonalds menu for 17 minutes] me: ok im ready. can you help me not be sad all the time

BakugouKatsukiSimp

i swear everytime i walk past a guy they stare at my ass i always keep wondering why it hurts so much

Anonymous
in Coffin

my friend died me and my other besitei stares sining the coffin song my bestie in the coffin why are you not sad why are you still alive

YourLocalPickle
in Orphan

My son came up to me and said “mom, where are your parents?” I stared in confusion i said “in a far place.” He asked “In and orphanage?”

dream official
in Dream

I suck his dick with a smile for hours at a time Stare at his nutsack while I hold back my cum tonight And when he ask me what position I say, "Doggystyle" (And when they ask me what position I say, "Doggystyle") But the fact is I can never get off of his fat dick And all that they can ask is (Ask is, ask is) "I just wanna smack it" (I just wanna smack it)

Here's what the fact is He can put my asshole in a casket (Yuh, yuh, yuh) Asshole in a casket

So you can see I'm cummin' But you won't see me nut And I'll just keep on suckin', I'm good (Yeah, I'm good) And if he sucks my glizzy I will become dizzy But it keeps us busy, I'm good (Yeah, I'm good) I've been twerking for boys for so long I'vе been flirting with boys for so long My jaw's been hurting for so, so long it's real So long, it's real, so long, it's real

Brody

YO MAMA! Yo mama so stupid… she stared at an orange juice carton… because it said CONCENTRATE!

My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing minecraft all night. Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my switch when they come into my room. Now I'm about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY FUCKING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing "intense kissing" the next morning. I believe that at the time. But now I've been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn't

dad- HONEY

mom- what

dad- all of the broken condums are on the bed

mom- WHAT!?

children- *staring*

Rocco
in Hairiness

You are so hairy you stared in donkey Kong before

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Alex
in Blonde

Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? Because it said concentration camp

Greninja_77
in Orphan

What did the orphan say to the adopter. Nothing he just stared

igloo and you
in Stairs

What do you call staring stares

Stares

Boof
in Granny

The time, 3 AM. The devils hour, I’m awoken suddenly to a clapping noise, my forehead is sweating profusely. I get up from kians bed. “How did I get here?” I ponder to myself. I look to tv screen and there it is, playing right in front of my eyes. Big boob loud moan blasting through kians fortnite tv. I can smell the remnants of kians sperm which was previously ejected to this video. The clapping continues even after i turn off the video. I attempt to open his door, to no avail, his door was renound for being shit but i’d usually be able to open it after the 5th or so attempt, the 3 massive new hole may play a factor into this. I finally open the door, to be met by another door… Johns room. It is left open by a sliver, the clapping is growing. and so with it is my heart rate. I peak into his room to be met by the sight of kian getting given the nastiest of all back shots i’ve seen in my life, as i focus on kian getting pounded i hear him moan like a little girl, I’m scared to open the door fully but i overcome this fear. I storm the room to see him… It’s John. He pauses the thrusting to look at me. With no emotion, just a pure and saggy face. Staring into my soul like i’m his next victim. Kian, now in a huff that he isn’t getting his daily meat, yells at me “aye you bringing cargos to maga.” The patter is unmatched. How do i recover and retaliate to that? I immediately turn and rush for the front door. luckily, his house is 5 feet squared. So one set of stairs and freedom is mine, but as i turn, i see him. It’s penaldo back for his revenge, I call him finished and run for the kitchen, i’m met by a blockade of irn bru behind the door, so there’s only one place to go, the kitchen. I see the trio behind me, penaldo, kian and daddy john. Kian running with his joggies still down from the pounding he was given, he then trips and causes the floor to cave in towards his downstairs neighbours (lol). I get into the bathroom and lock it suddenly. i look to use the toilet but am stranded for options when i see the biggest most heaviest shite ever, it was orange, this only means one thing. Kian shite, my hunger grows as the feeney shite calls my name. My hand reaching out towards it, i pull it back with my other hand. But the urges overwhelm me, i scoff myself full, i’m not proud of what i done, but i done it to survive. Is this what we call life? Survival? I don’t know but i am satisfied with how it turned out, with all my gold aquired there is only one left, I head back to johns room and pass the crater which is kian, john is sitting on his bed with his bussy out. It is too tempting, I dive into that shit and this is where it ends, i die in that jabussy.

Anonymous
in Hang

You're reading this thinking I'm gonna make a joke. But in reality I don't feel comfortable telling this to my family or friends. But 3 weeks ago I went to work and took a knot there and took it home (late night shift) its been hanging in my room for 3 weeks now and my mom and dad haven't noticed it yet. But my sister is extremely obsessive over me and she won't stop flirting or touch me and I swear I can't bare it! Everytime I come home from work she jumps on me she licks my bloody cheek and its getting me stressed! I can't deal with that shit and I don't want to! If I'm in my room just on my phone and I try to charge my phone. I can see her literally staring at me from the cap between my door and the opening and she is bloody naked! I tried telling my parents but they already have big drama from each other and I don't want to put more into it. My closet is not big so I really need to see what I put there. But when I open it and try to find my boxers all I see is my sister's underwear and those that are used not new ones. You can smell it the moment you open your closet. I'm not gonna be sniffing it to check if it's new or not because she might be lurking somewhere and it's gonna be bad new for me! So I rather end my life then being with her! I'm gonna hang myself probably after i write this. No one is home and I'm alone so I can write myself a paper to them and just go for it! It was really nice venting here tho it felt good.

Anonymous
in Squirrel

what did one squirrel say to the other squirrel? stop staring at my nuts .

Bobist
in Simp

If a simp is staring at you cover your mouth (they stop looking)

Luh Pat
in Sally

Why did Sally stare out the window for 24 hours straight? Sally's used to being blind!

I have a green hat

What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce? A chicken sees a salad

( say it outloud if you don't get it )