Newest Spouse Jokes - Worst Jokes Ever

Marriage is really educational

When I was single, I didn't even know there was a wrong way to put a fork in the dishwasher.

I was outside digging a six foot hole, when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole

joe mama roast

Tell me 10 best yo-mama jokes
1. Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow
raincoat, people shout "taxi!"
2. Yo mama is so old, when she was in school,
history was called current events.
3. Yo mama is so ugly, when she walks into a
bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras.
4. Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to
pay attention.
5. Yo mama is so short, she poses for trophies.
6. Yo mama is so hairy, Bigfoot takes pictures of
her.
7. Yo mama is so stupid, she brought a spoon to
the Super Bowl.
8. Yo mama is so lazy, she thinks a two-income
family is where your spouse works two jobs.
9. Yo mama is so clumsy, she could trip over a
cordless phone.
10. Yo mama is so slow, when she ran the 100-
meter dash, she finished in the next Olympics.

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his wife? He wiped.

I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life ten when I woke up my wife was gone.

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes So she gave me a hug

What do you call your mom

My wwwwiiiiiifffffffeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!@#$%

Guy asked me what I do for a living. Now I'm not old enough to get a job so I said nothing. He asked me again so I said, "Your wife" The guy goes to slap me but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"

A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans. When she gets home his husband puts a blindfold on hair and says not to take it off. The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly. When the husband comes back and takes of the blind fold the lady sees 12 people with pegs on there nose singing happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?”

“Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.”

My wife and I watched The Perfect Murder together. Excellent movie, but what disturbed me though was my wife constantly taking notes.

I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I’m digging in our garden.

I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.

Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver

i hate my wife. * cue laugh*

Wife: Honey! Do you like tea? Husband : No, I like after "T"! .............. It means: the letter "U" : you!

My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive. I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked "How is that supposed to work?". I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"