Sports jokes

Wheelchair

I know a girl in a wheelchair. I realize now why she couldn’t do sports because the coaches wanted 100% from her, but she was only able to give 50%.

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  • Baby

    Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.

    1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.

    2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

    3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.

    4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.

    5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

    6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!

    7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!

    8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!

    9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!

    10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!

    Memes

    Orphan

    Why can't orphans play baseball?

    Because they can't find their home base.

    Jesus Christ

    Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common?

    A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”

    Orphan

    Why can’t orphans play baseball?

    Because they don’t have a home to run to.

    Orphan

    Why can’t orphans play baseball?

    They don’t know where home plate is.

    Baseball

    Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.

    If you don’t get it, a Chinese woman ate a bat and she got the coronavirus (I think).

    Lottery Ticket

    I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!

    Stereotype

    I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.

    Tower

    Why does New York have the Jets as their football team if those are what took out the Twin Towers?

    Song

    Penaldo song 🎵🎵🎵

    He has conquered all the Farmers. He is never going to stop. From Lithuania down to Andorra, He has scored a fucking lot. Penalties and Tapins, The Fields of Faroe Islands, He is our GOAT, And his name is Cristiano Columbus. Allez, Allez, Allez Allez, Allez, Allez