Sports jokes
A guy wins a free ticket to the Super Bowl and so he’s very excited.
However, he’s not so excited when he gets there and realizes his seat’s in the back of the stadium.
So he looks around him for a better seat, and to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field.
He approaches the older guy who’s sitting in the seat next to the empty one and asks if the seat is taken.
The man replies, “No.”
The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?”
The older guy replies, “It’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she’s passed away.”
“Oh, how sad,” the young guy says, taken aback. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?”
“No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.”
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
He doesn't know where home is.
How do you know when a football player has been to jail?
When he goes in a tight end and comes out a wide receiver.
What did the helicopter say to the mountain?
Kobe.
Q: Why did the family want to move out while the neighbors were playing tennis?
A: Because they were a racquet!
What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is...
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Why can orphans only hit a triple in baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
What’s a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross-country.
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross country.
What's Al Qaeda's favorite football team?
New York Jets.
Why do trans women make the best golf course grounds staff?
They’re enthusiastic about getting rid of unwanted balls.
Wheelchair soccer is just IRL Rocket League. Change my mind.
What's an orphan's favorite sport?
Baseball, because they finally have a home.
Why is basketball such a messy sport?
'Cause the players are always dribbling everywhere!
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't go home.
What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?
OJ couldn’t kill cancer.
I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked. "I'm a Paralympian," he replied. "Boxing?" "No, ... hurdles."
What's it called if you give a kid in a wheelchair a ball? Rocket League.