What are orphans' favorite sports team? The home team.
Sports Jokes
What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? Stopping it with a cricket bat.
What's Kobe's favorite song? "It's Going Down" for real.
He turns, he shoots!
And that is a horrible end to the Grand National...
I would say fly high to Kobe, but obviously he didn't...
A day in the life of a Biden voter.
$2000 stimulus check? Nah, $1400...some day.
No more kids in cages? Nah, more kids in cages.
$15 minimum wage? Nah, $11. Maybe.
50k loan forgiveness? Nah. Lol.
No more deportations? Nah, they're still leaving.
Women's rights? Nah, dudes in women's sports.
New COVID bill? Nah, mostly bailouts and pet projects.
Cheap insulin? Nah, jack those prices up.
Defeat fascism? Nah, barbed wire fences around DC.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't hit home base.
I want to make a joke about Kobe, but it won't land well.
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
What's an orphan's favorite sport?
Baseball, because that's the only time they can run home.
A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.
The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car," said the little boy.
The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl.
A few seconds later, the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?"
"Sure," said the little boy.
The little boy's mother was downstairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there, she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said.
"Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."
Why was the stadium so hot?
Because all the fans left!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
I would tell jokes about Kobe, but they would just crash and burn.
I wanted to play as Kobe in my console, but the game crashed.
"Most Deadly Sport"
Playing chicken with a train!
Why don't orphans play football?
They can't find home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't reach home.
What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?
Coach.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
