My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheese burgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through. So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress I guess :D
What's black and white and hard as nails? A nun on speed!
What's the point of hiding the screaming speed bump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming. B: Make it look like an actual speed bump. And C... You think it's hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach.
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
What do you call a toddler lying in the middle of the road? Speed bump.
why do cheetahs run. why not
WHY CANT CHEETAHS RUN FOREVER BECAUSE THEY RUN OUT OF BREATH
My friend asked me how fast my humor was, and I said it jumps borders. Then he asked how dark my humor is, and I said it picks cotton.
at what speed is the curry going at ?
in a hurry to the curry man
I'm a fast reader, I can go through 20 stories in a few seconds.
I can measure the speed of an object, because I want to km/s.
why are cheetahs the best animals? The cheetah is the fastest land animal in the world. They can reach a top speed of around 113 km per hour. A cheetah can accelerate from 0 to 113 km in just a few seconds. Cheetahs are extremely fast however they tire quickly and can only keep up their top speed for a few minutes before they are too tired to continue. Cheetahs are smaller than other members of the big cat family, weighing only 45 – 60 kilograms. One way to always recognise a cheetah is by the long, black lines which run from the inside of each eye to the mouth. These are usually called “tear lines” and scientists believe they help protect the cheetah’s eyes from the harsh sun and help them to see long distances. Cheetahs are the only big cat that cannot roar. They can purr though and usually purr most loudly when they are grooming or sitting near other cheetahs. While lions and leopards usually do their hunting at night, cheetahs hunt for food during the day. A cheetah has amazing eyesight during the day and can spot prey from 5 km away. Cheetahs cannot climb trees and have poor night vision. With their light body weight and blunt claws, cheetahs are not well designed to protect themselves or their prey. When a larger or more aggressive animal approaches a cheetah in the wild, it will give up its catch to avoid a fight. Cheetahs only need to drink once every three to four days.
Chuck Norris can make Minute Maid lemonade in 5 seconds.
My wife wanted a present that could go from zero to 80 very quickly.
So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.
what is red and green and goes 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender
What Runs Faster Than Stephen Hawking In His Wheel Chair. His Internet
I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!
They said I couldnt drive. now they know i cant cause they are all dead
When you're going 80 mph and hit a speed bump,
Then the speed bump starts screaming.
Why do animals have playing cards with foxes?-They’re a bunch of cheetahs
