Q: What do you call a chip that goes fast?
A: A rocket chip.
What’s got 4 wheels, does a barrel roll, and goes from green to red in seconds?
Kermit in a car crash.
I'm going to do a song that's called "Falling" by Trevor Daniel... so here it goes.
My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything Talk to me, I need to hear you need me like I need ya Fall for me, I wanna know you feel how I feel for you, love Before you, baby, I was numb, drowned out pain by pouring up Speeding fast on the run, never want to get caught up Now you the one that I'm calling Swore that I'd never fall again, don't think I'm just talking I think I might go all in, no exceptions, girl, I need ya Think I'm out of my mind, 'cause I can't get enough Only one that I give my time, 'cause I got eyes for ya Might make an exception for ya, 'cause I been feeling ya Think I might be out of my mind, I think that you're the one My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything I'll never give my all again 'Cause I'm sick of falling down When I open up and give my trust They find a way to break it down Tear me up inside, and you break me down.
A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.
"Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"
I lost a race with a handicapped person today. The problem was the race was all stairs.
Gravity sure is fast.
What is cheetah's favorite taste to run fast?
Cheetah outta here!
In the new Justice League movie, Flash can break glass by touching it, why is that?
Because Flash is not supported on Windows.
Yo mama is so dumb, she put speed bumps on the race track.
I painted my black PS5 white so the controller would run faster.
A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.
The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.
What’s the speed limit in bed?
It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.
What do queer guys call hemorrhoids? Speed bumps!
Why'd Susie go down the slide too fast?
Because her wheelchair was good.
One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.
Roses are red, Your mum's a queer, Fucking hell, Can’t get out of first gear!
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.
Yo mama is so fat that when she sits on the internet, it will take a day to send!
I bought a white Xbox to last longer, and I bought a black Xbox to run faster.
Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: Twin Tower victims, they got 80 stories in ten seconds.
Yo mama so fat, she broke Usain Bolt's 100 meter speed record by taking ONE STEP!
