SOS jokes
The emo kid wanted a high five. I left him hanging, so did the tree.
Why does an orphan always get the newest iPhone?
Because so he does not have a home button.
Yo mama is so dumb, she put speed bumps on the race track.
You are so fat you tried to eat the word "edible."
Why are orphans' funerals so small?
They have no loved ones.
Memes
Why do orphans play GTA?
So they can get wanted.
Why do orphans want to get married so bad?
To have someone to call "daddy."
To Mr. Nice Guy, you are nice, sweet, and caring! I am so grateful to be your friend!
This isn't a joke, I repeat, this is not a joke. The plane in Lake Harriet is not in the lake. It is invisible because of the satellite pic, so there's no plane in Lake Harriet.
So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back...
Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
My grandfather told me Iβm too reliant on technology, so I unplugged his life support and called him a hypocrite. I doubt he ever said that to anyone ever again.
Congratulations! 10 years+ record of hide and seek with your parents, and they're still hiding!
They hide so well, they probably forgot about you. Mwah. <3
When you were born, your mom said you were out of bounds, so you went flying out of the hospital.
Yo mama's so fat, her pad is a king-size mattress.
Yo mama is so ugly that not even goldfish smile back at her.
Your momma's so dumb, she took her driving lesson on a dinosaur.
That forehead is so tall it can eat a plane! Open wide!
The moment when you're too depressed to fantasize about death--it's so tiring.
My friend that used to be married was making jokes about me being short. Then I told him, "Your marriage was so short it made me look like Shaquille O'Neal."
Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?
Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.