SOS jokes

To Gwen and Freshfry: Hi Gwen and Freshfry, you have been so amazing to me and now to my sister. You are the people who I look up to. People are mean to us because I am adopted. Thank you for all of your support!

Yo mama is so dumb, she put speed bumps on the race track.

Congratulations! 10 years+ record of hide and seek with your parents, and they're still hiding!

They hide so well, they probably forgot about you. Mwah. <3

My friend told me to beat that pussy up... so why is the local animal control at my door?

Yo mama is so ugly that not even goldfish smile back at her.

Yo mama's so fat, her pad is a king-size mattress.

When you were born, your mom said you were out of bounds, so you went flying out of the hospital.

Why does an orphan always get the newest iPhone?

Because so he does not have a home button.

This isn't a joke, I repeat, this is not a joke. The plane in Lake Harriet is not in the lake. It is invisible because of the satellite pic, so there's no plane in Lake Harriet.

The emo kid wanted a high five. I left him hanging, so did the tree.

Why are orphans' funerals so small?

They have no loved ones.

So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back...

Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.

The moment when you're too depressed to fantasize about death--it's so tiring.

To Mr. Nice Guy, you are nice, sweet, and caring! I am so grateful to be your friend!

I was stark nude. Hehe, I was. I truly and sincerely was.

The nurses giggled and said, "Joseph, why the hell is your wiener so loving?"

My penis purred and stroked their hands. I laughed and said, "I do not know."

You are so fat you tried to eat the word "edible."

Yo mama so fat that when she farted, Big Shaq took off his jacket.

Man: Okay, tell me a joke without the expense of anyone's feelings.

Me: Okay, so an Asian...

Your momma's so fat that she is the Earth!

"My name is Osama, I lost my jobba, so I became a BOMBA 💣"