SOS jokes
Yo mama's teeth are so crooked, they have a British accent.
I ran out of bras, so I wore...
My grandma's underpants!
I don't know why Trump has orange skin but has white around his eyes. So does that mean he is some fucking dog?
Your cow is so ugly, it scared the crap out of the toilet!
Please, this is disgusting. This is only men who think that itβs fun to do jokes about rape. Itβs really fucking dramatic for a man/woman to get raped, so please just shut the fuck up!
Memes
My "overweight" friend and I were talking at lunch.
Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly, dude?
Me: *annoyed* Jason, when you stepped on the scale this morning, it asked for your weight, not your phone number.
He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.
The Make-A-Wish Foundation has gone too far. All of the Make-A-Wish kids asked for cancer to be gone, so they just gave the cancer to all of the Make-A-Wish kids.
One day a Chief was talking to his son... "Son," the father said, "Long ago the Woman didn't have anybody to take her to BINGO. So, the Creator put the Woman to sleep and cut off her butt cheeks and made her a Man. That's why today Indian Women have no butt, and the Men are called Buttheads!"
Me and my mom order Chinese food. So when it came, my mom grabbed the egg roll and started to suck it down. Then I ask my mom what are you doing. Then my mom says, "I love you for 5 dollar."
Why don't wheelchairs have pedals, so when their arms get tired, they can keep going with their feet?
My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.
A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"
Something you can say about a restaurant, but not your partner:
"So youβre open 24 hours a day?"
The president of the USA is so damn stupid. His mother must have taken Tylenol while she was pregnant with him, or something.
Yo mama is so stupid, she thought a jigsaw meant dancing with a saw!
One day an old woman came into the bank and asked me to check her balance... So, I pushed her over.
Yo mama is so fat that when she put on a yellow dress, people called her "taxi."
Yo momma is so ugly, Slenderman runs from her.
It's also why he has no eyes.
Your mama is so ugly, she makes the devil cry.
Yo mama so fat you can see her from 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 galaxies away!