SOS jokes

Your hairline is so long they mistake your forehead for a football field.

Yo mama so fat, when she was telling me her weight, I thought she was telling me her number.

Your hairline is so far away that Jesus could've seen it when he was on the cross.

911 what's your emergency?

"Burning in toaster."

"Toast?"

"Yeah so your calling 911 because of burnt toast?"

"Set fire to my forest!"

Brinnia so fat when she stepped on a scale, it said, "I need a bigger one."

Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!

Yo mama so fat, when she jumped in the ocean, the whales said, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"

Your hairline was so fat that Joe Biden could not make it prime minister.

Your dad's hairline was so long that he died.

"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"

"He died."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."

(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"

I'm such a good babysitter because the last person I babysat was so flat.

Your mum's hairline was so big that Dora the Explorer could not find it.

Your hairline is so far back that I didn’t know you had a hairline.

Your mama so fat, the scale said, "Only one person at a time, please!"

Your friend is so fat, when he took the group pic, he was the background.

The doctor said I had two years to live, so I shot him. The warden gave me 50. Problem solved!

Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."

Your sister is so ugly that she made an onion cry.

Why are orphans so bad at dodge ball?

They don't have a home to run to.

Your hairline is so far back that it killed the dinosaurs.