SOS jokes

My grief counselor died the other day.

He was so good at his job, I don't even care.

My son's into astromancy asked me how do stars die, so I told him, "Usually on overdose, son."

My therapist told me time heals wounds, so I stabbed him, and now we wait.

You're so ugly, you have trick-or-treat on the phone!

Why do orphans have criminal records?

So they can be wanted.

I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...

Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...

I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...

When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.

Your forehead so big you got to go outside to think.

Your mama so ugly she went by a TV and missed eight episodes.

Your mama is so slow, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.

Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?

A new feature that we are bringing to the Olympics is 3D viewing. So if you're watching the javelin, I would look away now.

Hi guys, I'm back! So I have a question for you. What is red and smells like blue paint? Type in comments what you came up with.

Yo mama is so fat even Dora can't explore her.

Guys, put more comments in.

We are so close to beating the world record for most comments on this website, and the record is 171.

An acronym for penis is Proton-enhanced nuclear induction spectroscopy. So just remember, the word "nuclear" is part of a penis.

Why did the robber take a shower before his robbery?

So he could make a clean getaway!

Yo mama so fat...

Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?

Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.

Yo mama so stupid, she starved in a grocery store!

Hey, this is to orphans:

"Orphans are ugly. We need to know each other :D We need to date, cause ur hot and so am I and orphans rly are ugly!!!!"