SOS jokes

Your mum's hairline was so big that Dora the Explorer could not find it.

Your hairline is so far back that I didn’t know you had a hairline.

Your mama so fat, the scale said, "Only one person at a time, please!"

Your friend is so fat, when he took the group pic, he was the background.

The doctor said I had two years to live, so I shot him. The warden gave me 50. Problem solved!

Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."

Your sister is so ugly that she made an onion cry.

Why are orphans so bad at dodge ball?

They don't have a home to run to.

Your hairline is so far back that it killed the dinosaurs.

Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.

So I threw a coconut at her.

Why do orphans say, "Go big or go home?"

So that way they feel important.

Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.

I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes.

So she gave me a hug.

Your forehead is so big, it takes the sun a year to shine on every part of it.

Yo mama is so ugly, her self-portraits hanged themselves.

Yo mama so fat.

In Super Mario Galaxy, she was a fucking planet!

Yo mama so stupid. She thought fruit punch was a gay boxer.

Your hairline is so far back my dad even took 48 hours to reach it.

Your hairline is so far back that when I put on my glasses, I thought I saw an "M" for McDonald's on your hairline.