SOS jokes

Yo mama so short that when she plays mini golf, it's just called golf.

So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.

Yo' mama is so stupid, she couldn't find a needle in a haystack.

Yo mama so ugly, she made everybody's face fall off.

Why was the dog so stressed out?

It had a ruff day.

Why did the chili blush?

Because it was so hot!

Why do they put barcodes on the ships in Norway?

Why?

So when they come into port, they can Scan-de-navian.

Yo momma's so hairy that when the baby came out, it got rug burn.

I wish my lawn was emo, so I would not have to cut it, it would cut itself.

So I was visiting my friends Timmy and Tommy at the phone store and I said, "A. T&T!"

I have so many cash machine jokes.

But none of them seem to work ATM.

"Don't sneeze!"

Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.

Also,

"It dangles and swung!"

Language art quizzes are the best.

Who are voting for this election? I'm voting for Tricity, so vote for Tricity. Electricity!

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a joke, so are you.

So I went to the gym and I found a hymn.

"Can you tie a knot?"

"I cannot."

"So you can knot?"

"No, I cannot knot."

"Not knot?"

"Who's there?"

"F... off!"

Roses are red, Velvet is blue, So are violets.

Why is helium so expensive? It is due to inflation.

Why are graveyards so popular? Because people are always dying to get into them.

Yo mama so fat, when she sat on the iPod...

SHE MADE THE IPAD!!!!!!!