SOS Jokes

Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.

I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."

Your forehead is so big that your face touches your chin.

You're so fat, when you went on the scale it said "to be continued."

Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car.

so true

A young child with her mouth open is crying. The text above her reads "MEAN OLDER SISTER" and below reads "CHASING YOU WITH VACUUM CLEANER".

My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.

So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"

Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?

So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.

My friend said, "Why do you have depression? There is so much happiness in the world." And I said, "Why do you have asthma? There is so much air in the world."

Yo mama so fat, she is one of the boulders in Indiana Jones.

Joe mama so fat, she could not walk the stairs of heaven.

Credits: to my friend.

So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Hi, everyone. Serious question. Would it be illegal to decapitate a worm? Asking for a friend, he's so worried we're going to jail. I'm not. I'm fine. Please reply fast.