SOS jokes

Why do horny, deaf girls wear tight pants?

So you can read her lips.

Me to bully: You are so fat that when the satellite took the picture, you were considered as an island.

Bully: (Speechless)

My grandfather said my generation relies too much on technology. So I unplugged his life support. (ref)

I wanted to do something nice for my uncle, so I cleaned out the nice vase that was given at grandma's funeral. It had so much sand, I'm glad to help.

This Native American won't stop talking bad about me, so I said, "Please stop acting like you first discovered this land belonged to your ancestors!"

Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.

He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.

Charlene's hairline was so big that Joe Biden could not make it prime minister.

My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.

Depression sucks, and so do you.

Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?

Because nobody misses them.

Your mama's so fat when she sat on the toilet, the toilet said, "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, get your fat ass off of me!"

Yo forehead so big, an airplane can use that as a runway!

I wanted to open a brothel in the monastery, but the slogan: "Fist some Christs" was, unfortunately, not so well received.

Why did the orphan go to church?

So he had someone to call Father.

Yo mama so dumb, when Fox Five said it's chilly outside, she brought a bowlllllll!

You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"

Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her titties, I got a mouth full of knee.

She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!

Yo dad's so stupid, he came back after he got the milk.

"Sticks and stones break my bones."

A crowbar does it so much quicker.