SOS jokes

Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued," and it said, "Fuck you."

Why was everybody so tired on April 1st? Because they just finished a March of 31 days!

Your mama so fat, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.

Went to see a psychic the other day.

I knocked on the door, and she said, "Who is it?"

So I turned around and left.

Your forehead is so big even Mega Mind knew you were smarter.

Yo momma so fat that she don't need a backpack. She keeps her things in her Lagrangian points.

So, my son is into astronomy, and he asked how stars die. I said, "Usually overdose."

Your mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the concrete cracked up.

When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romanticizing their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.

Then you know they're faking depression. 🙂

If you know it, you know it.

Ok, so my brother made this, here it is:

Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? Chicken garbage!

Ok I know it makes no sense, but he made it when he was like 3.

Your forehead is so big that it couldn’t handle an acute angle.

Your forehead is so big you can smoke a cigar in the rain.

It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!

Nobody really liked our fireplace.

So I turned it into a brick pizza oven. Idk why, but now everyone likes our fireplace.

We are close to beating the world record of comments on this website (171). Right now, there are 155, so put more comments!

I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"

So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"

Two kids were beating up a ginger kid in an ally, so I stepped into help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

Why do orphans pray to God?

So they have someone to call father.

Why does it take so long for the pirates to learn the alphabet?

Because they spend years on C! Pirate: A, B, sea?