Sorriness jokes

A woman brought her hamster to the vet. The vet takes a look and concludes the hamster died.

The woman doesn't believe it and requests further investigation. So the vet lets in a Labrador. The dog sniffs around the hamster and shortly after he produces a sad whine, shakes his head and leaves the room with his tail low.

The woman, still not convinced, demands more examinations. The vet gets one of his cats. It walks around the hamster and pets it. After some time it shakes her head and runs off quickly.

"Fine, I believe you now," the woman says, "my beloved hamster is dead." "I'm sorry for your loss," the vet replies. "Your bill for this visit will be 1505 dollars," says the vet. "What? 1505 dollars just to tell me my hamster is dead?" The woman says shocked.

The vet replies: "No, 5 dollars to tell your hamster died, 500 dollars for the lab report and 1000 dollars for the CAT scan."

One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass, not breathing.

Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little Johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone.

Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."

You want to hear a joke about pizza?

Sorry! Can't tell ya, it's too cheesy!

Your mama so fat that when she went to McDonald's, they said, "Sorry, you've had enough, ma'am."

What do you say after making fun of a disabled person?

"Sorry, I didn't mean to step on your toes."

Roses are red, Obama is well spoken, I'm sorry sir, but the ice cream machine is broken.

Popular girl: Sorry I'm late.

Teacher: Why are you late!

Girl: I need my beauty sleep.

Nerd: Well, you might need to hibernate because you ain't pretty.

Sorry but, no one asked.

Roses are red, violets are blue,

I’m sorry you look like my old beat up shoe.

Oh Sans, you're such a bonehead! Sorry if that joke was jaw-breaking! LOL.

Mom: They say our kid neighbor has blue blood.

Son: Really?

Also 2 hours later:

Son: Mom, the kid doesn't have blue blood.

Mom: Son, I-

I didn't ask: ❌

I'm sorry, but it doesn't seem that anyone needed this information, and there doesn't seem to be any chance anyone will need this information in the future. ✔️

Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?

Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.

One day, inexplicably, my talking parrot started insulting me. He called me an idiot, a fool, a jerk, stupid, and a variety of other nasty names. I warned the squawker to cease, but to no avian avail. Fed up, I finally flipped the foul-mouthed feather-brain into the freezer...but after about 15 seconds, I relented and let him out.

"I'm so sorry," he declared! "I don't know what came over me, and realize I shouldn't have said those terrible things. I hope you can forgive me, and I promise never to do it again! By the way...what did the chicken do?" 🐔😂

Kid: Where do I put this paper?

Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.

Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*

Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?

Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.

Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*

Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.

Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!

Kid: Yes, you told me to!

Teacher: I meant at school!

Kid: Ohhhhhh!

Teacher: Duh!

Why did the two balls cross the road?

To get to the penis!

Sorry, too rude?

Me: Sorry I couldn’t make it to school yesterday, I had an appointment.

Teacher: What kind of appointment?

Me: I had an appointment with a cut day. 😈😈😈

True story.

A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says, "Sorry, it was an axe-cident!"

A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says, "I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?"

Man, "Sorry, I thought it was the start of Eastenders!"

Technoblade: Makes jokes about orphans while in hospital.

Doctors to Technoblade's dad: Sorry for your loss.

Technoblade: What do you mean?? I'm right here!!

Orphans found parents: Who's he talking to??