Someone jokes
How do you try to shout at someone on the bottom of the ground?
"Hey, sir! Are you dead?"
Why can’t you private text someone in a community?
Because a community has more than two people.
Sometimes I look at someone I hate and think, "I hope you get laid tonight."
By a tweaker with AIDS.
What do you call someone who farts in public? A private tutor.
My dog died. I'm so sad.
What makes 9/11 an inside job?
Someone started calling it 10/7.
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.
Why do orphans go to church?
It’s the only place they can call someone “father.”
There is someone in my class named Henry Rocket Rueben, and he always says he rockets into my mom.
Kindly yeet someone!
If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?
If someone says nobody asked, you could say, "Well, nobody asked for you to talk!"
Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?
Kids: Because you're a psycho path.
If someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, you're the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person.
Child: Mom, someone told me you talk like an owl.
Teacher: Who?
Child: Oh, it is true, you do talk like an owl!
When someone asks you for a beef (fight), just say you're a vegetarian.
I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called "serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.
Why is that a joke?
Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.
Why is that a joke?
Dude, come on, you want to start your day off happy or not?
Why is that a joke?
She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.
No seriously, dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.
Funny things or weird things to say to someone.
Hey... have you kissed a girl before? Weird things to say to someone.
It's hard to find friends that [are] 91% funny, 100% nice, and 1000000% good-looking. Funny!
Weird names to call a girl: Sweetums.
Baby-Bugga-Boo.
Fuzzkins.
Lumpy.
Nilly.
Ninty Minty.
and SEXY WITCH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Gross that's why I am not getting a bf!
What do you call it when someone lies to Panera Bread?
Panera misled.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he had someone to call Father.