Someone jokes
If it is someone's birthday, say this for a joke:
"A long time ago in a far away galaxy...
YOU WERE BORN!"
Why is Stephen Hawking not scared of anyone?
His wheelchair always backs him up.
*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?
girl: Are you saying I'm fat?
I stood on the edge of a building and someone yelled, "Do a flip!"..... and I did.
Chenle: One time when I was younger, someone asked me how old I was and I forgot. I had to Wikipedia my age to remember.
Jisung: This is the richest thing I've ever heard in my life.
Wouldn’t the person be dead before the strangling starts? Unless Alastor did surgery?
If Emma Feel had a penny every time someone gave her head, she would have enough to make Mark Zuckerberg and Trump her third-legged bitch.
When a bomb goes off, they call it an explosion.
When Keemstar exposes someone, they call it an exposion.
Someone I know is an ant. I feel like a mountain to them.
I went to the super market one day and I saw a Caesar salad for 69 dollars. Next minute someone comes up to me and says, "Caesar deez nutz!"
Why do orphans go to church?
So they finally have someone to call father.
How does a rapper greet someone on a cold day?
"Yo, is the temperature Ice Cube, or Vanilla Ice?"
I saw someone who was about to jump off a bridge. They were wearing a Nike "JUST DO IT" shirt.
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing someone's cast.
What is it called when someone is in a wheelchair and in a fire?
Hot Wheels...
Anne Frank: This one time at camp, someone had too much gas.
If an orphan gets a girlfriend, they finally have someone to love them.
If someone has a hyperfixation with drawing and playing, does that mean they are on the "artism" spectrum?
Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?
To the I.C.U.
Shut the fuck up, you fat bitch. You always like to roast others, but you can't walk up the stairs without passing out, you fat, stupid bitch. And I caught you breaking into someone's house just to steal a piece of candy, fat-ass bitch.