Someone at school judged my grammar.
I judged theirs by the terms "school" and "rifle range" being mixed up the next day.
Someone Jokes
Someone asked me my gender... I said, "Woah, man."
Your hairline looks like someone tried to erase it using Microsoft Paint.
Everyone laughs when a bully teases someone, but no one laughs when that person commits suicide.
When deaf people see someone yawning, do they think they're screaming?
I will pay someone to kill me.
How can you surprise someone who is blind?
Leave a plunger in the toilet.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, I’d rather be single than with someone like you.
What's the best way to catch a fish? Ask someone to throw it to you.
Someone at school asked what makeup I was wearing.
I said, "a smile."
They are now following me around asking if my mental health is okay.
My plan to avoid them is to not go to school.
Going to school is mandatory in this country.
Can you guess my plan?
When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."
when someone says to cheer up: you, I never thought of that. :)
-> in reality, :( (sob)
depression is no game, and here in this world, we are here for each other, although at times it might not seem like it.
Keep strong, and you'll find the end of the tunnel, but ending the pain and being gone just spreads depression.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."
A man comes home and hears his wife talking about having sex at the club. The man busts into the club with a revolver and says, "WHO TF FUCKED MY WIFE?" Well, everyone looks over and is quiet, and someone in the back says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets."
What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?
Posiedown.
When someone has an imaginary friend, you call them weird and crazy.
But when a group of people have an imaginary friend, you call it religion. :)
Why does a girl orphan want a boyfriend?
To finally call someone Daddy!
Why was the orphan single? Because it could not call someone "daddy".
Poor Bubba got burnt up so bad in a house fire that the coroner needed someone to identify the body. So Bubba's two best friends (the three were inseparable) agreed. The first friend said, "Hard to tell, can you turn him over?" The coroner looked perplexed but did so. "Nope, that's not Bubba." The second friend said, "He's burnt up pretty bad, can you roll him over again?" The coroner didn't understand but rolled him over anyway. "Nope, that's not him." Pretty confused, the coroner asked, "How can you tell it's not him by rolling him over?" "Well, you see, Bubba had two assholes." "Impossible," the coroner replied. The friends said, "I don't know, but every time we went to town, everyone would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.'"
This is a joke to tell to someone with you or something. SOMEONE will laugh. Say: "This word isn't gonna be funny until I tell you, your probably not going to laugh." *your friend* "what's the word?" *you* "finger" *friend* *dies of laughter*. *note* it works better if you wiggle your finger or something before and not everyone laughs, so don't feel bad if they don't. Also, don't be surprised if you get put in jail for murder, because you're going to kill someone with this.
