Someone jokes
You're so weak, someone breathed on you and you flew away!
If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.
Why is my plane delayed?
Because someone hit the Sears Tower.
What do you tell someone who has depression?
Answer: Just hang in there.
What do you call someone with no legs?
Disabled.
Comebacks when someone say: Bully: "Your teeth is so yellow that when you start smiling you slow down the traffic." Say: "At least its brighter than your future."
Why did the orphan go to a church?
So he could call someone "father."
What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?
5 dollar footlongs.
One time Little Johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree, and he moved the stool and the tree broke. Little Johnny screamed, "HAHA! You're skinny enough to break the tree!"
Why was the orphan single? Because it could not call someone "daddy".
If you're white and you're racist to someone, don't do anything.
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.
Class: No one stands up.
Teacher: Oh, c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *teacher waves her finger around the left side of the room.*
Little Johnny: *stands up.*
Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb?
Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.
Class: no one stands up.
Teacher: Oh c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room*
Little Johnny: *stands up*
Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb?
Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.
Why do orphans love role-plays?
Because they can call someone "daddy."
How do you know someone is going to die?
He can't stop coughing. (coffin)
I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.
Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! 🤬😡
Imagine someone leaving a cut-out of Jeff Bezos on your car after you found out your blind bf cheated on you, and the McDonald's employee says over the speaker, "Weren't expecting him to see other hoes were you?"
When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to just cheer up, god damn, why didn't I think of that?
Someone fucked a member of BTS.
Why does an orphan go to church? So they can call someone father and be loved.