Society jokes
A beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide.
A homeless man walks by her and says, "What are you doing?"
She says, "I'm going to jump!"
The homeless man says, "If you're going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"
The woman replies, "No way, creep! Never that!"
The homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says, "That's fine, I'll just wait 'til you're at the bottom."
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: "Asperger's."
Dark humor never gets old, like kids from Africa.
Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar?
"May I push your stool in?"
I’m old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.
If you think about it, the 9/11 memorial is just a scoreboard.
Why did the pedophile cross the road?
To get to the other preschool.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he had someone to call a father.
Life is like a penis: simple, soft, relaxed, and hanging free, until a woman comes around and makes it hard.
Life would be so much easier if grass was emo.
Because it would cut itself.
Why is rape worse than death?
Because dead people get way more attention.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Surprise egg.
A new game the whole family can play...
Incest.
How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.
I made a website for orphans. It doesn't have a homepage.
A rapist walks into a school and asks if they had 5 year olds in the school, and the teacher replies, "Are you that same person who took Jimmy?"
The man replies, "Yes," and the teacher says, "Take Susie too; she's being a little bitch."
I groomed 2 minors today.
Man 1: Why don’t we just put all the debt in the world on one man, then kill him?
Man 2: We tried that once. It started a cult.