Society jokes
A depressed kid gave me a high five. I left him hanging.
What do you call a person that [proudly] knows only one language? A bloody seppo.
What do you call a person that speaks five languages? A Euro waiter.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
Never let an orphan watch Fast and the Furious.
All they will talk about is how great their family is.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
Dude, what if 9/11 happened because they wanted slavery back?
You can get into a fight with an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."
Why can't orphans go on field trips?
Parents' signature _______________________________
What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?
The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.
I don't think I could ever become a beggar. I really don't like change.
Being pro-life.
So can we agree that Jesus was the first victim of cancel culture?
Why did Zayn Malik get his girlfriend to convert to Islam? So she can declare GiGIHADid.
As a son, I am so worried about the phone call message that my mom got from a member of The CDC. It was on speaker, so me and mom both hear. The message told my mom that she needs to personally isolate because two of the new symptoms is having big titties and a great personality.
A 10 year old girl reported to her friends that her 16 year old male babysitter was touching her inappropriately. He quickly lost his job as a babysitter.
A 10 year old boy reported to his friends that his 16 year old female babysitter was touching him inappropriately. She quickly became the most popular babysitter in town amongst boys.
I bully orphans. What are they gonna do? Cry to their parents?
Children and your meat are actually quite similar.
At first you seem weirded out by spanking it, but later on you start to enjoy it.
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.