Society jokes
What can you give a white person that you can't give to a black person?
A black eye.
And there's the referee taking down Ronaldo's number.
Not really the time or the place, but it's good to see that we've kept homophobia out of football.
In 2006 on 6/9, there was something called communication opportunity happened. On 6/9. 69. Coincidence? I think NOT.
What is a pizza that an orphan can’t have?
A family pizza.
You know how you mine and craft in Minecraft, and you chat in VR in VR Chat, but what do you do in Alabama?
Why can't orphans go to movies?
There PG-13 movies.
Why did the Mexican take Xanax?
For Hispanic attacks.
What does a Russian do for entertainment?
A nuclear world fair.
I went up to an orphan and asked where their parents were--they stared.
Hi, welcome to Dave's Orphanage, you make 'em, we take 'em!
What do you call an Indian going through the bins?
RUM-MAJINGG
I made a website to support orphans.
It just needs a home page.
Can orphans eat in a family restaurant?
What couldn’t the boy in the wheelchair do when he saw a bully? He couldn’t stand up for himself.
So, I went up to an Australian girl. She looked like she was 20, and I said, "Can I have your phone number, sweetheart?" She said, "696969." I said, "Oh, haha, okay." A few days later, her mother called me and said she's 15.
What’s a homeless person's favorite food?
Why can't orphans go to family restaurants?
Because they don't have a family to go with.
What is the difference between a redhead and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist!
Why do orphans look at a house for so long?
'Cause they never had one.
Doin your mom doin doin your mom
You know we straight with doin your mom
I'm doin your mom. Yes yours!
I first saw her in the Wal-Mart pickin out your drawers.
Big Dolly Parton hair like an 80s prom queen
But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom-jeans.
I approached her in the checkout line, and said yo baby wassup?
She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin' at her jugs.
Five minutes later she agreed to get with me
So we went and rocked the minivan like Giggity. Giggity. Giggity.
I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart.
I gave her a lift back to her crib cause her car wouldn't start.
She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.
How many times I tap that ass? OVER 9000!
Yeah. She called me Pledge cause I knocked the dust off it.
She later made me a sandwich and she cut the crust off it.
Cause she knows how I like it, and that I'm a little young
To be in the bed, butt-naked doin your mom.
Doin your mom doin doin your mom
You know we straight with doin your mom
I like your mama's big butt, and I cannot lie.
You other brothers can't deny that she's fly.
We make sexy time, yes and every night I tap that.
She saw me butt-naked, now she thinks I'm half black.
But your moms the best, the super M.I.L.F.
Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain't a chef
And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol
But If I were you, I wouldn't kiss your mom on the mouth at all.
She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez.
Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed.
She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I'll be honest
She likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna.
She's so therapeutic. When I need to cure my restlessness
I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your moms breastestess.
I didn't wanna tell you, but I had to write this song
Cause I'm in your house every night doin your mo-om.
Doin your mom doin doin your mom
You know we straight with doin your mom
I'm havin' sex with your mother
That makes me better than you.
I'm havin' sex with your mother
That makes me better than you.