Snack jokes

This man walks into a bar and says, "How do I get service here?"

The assistant bar attendant tells him to take a seat as the bartender will be there to serve him shortly. After 2 minutes, the man says this is ridiculous, that he has to wait. The assistant then offers him a bar snack of free nuts, which the man duly eats. Another 2 minutes go by, and the man then says, "OK, I get it, no service of beer, but free nuts," to which the assistant says, "Hell no, the game starts in 10 minutes." Everyone laughs and claps.

You’re a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.

You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.

Liam Gallagher went into a café for a cup of tea. The assistant asked him if "he wanted a roll with it."

Lily, Amy, Natalie, and Gabriella, it's my birthday tomorrow. Please come if you want to come. If you come to the party, there will be snacks and cake. Ty.

Wanna hear something twisted?

A pretzel.

What do you call chill legumes?

Hippeas.

Once I heard a joke about chocolate. It wasn't that funny, so I just Snickered.

Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.

Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.

Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!

Hansume cheetah e Cel Cheetos?

Josh Dalton once ate his shoulder.

Your mom is so skinny, she eats Skinny Pop!

Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.

Girl: Your card got declined.

Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.

When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.

What is 6 inches and long?

A Slim Jim.

One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass, not breathing.

Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little Johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone.

Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."

Last time Kenny ate a vegetable, he got banned from his mom's nursing home.

If a walnut is a nut on the wall, then what is a peanut?

My cat is red and brown and her bones are crunchy, so does that mean she is a Kit Kat?

Takis.

Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?

"Because his dad never brought the milk."