Smash jokes

What do you do after raping a deaf mute eight-year-old girl? Smash the little bitch's hands with a hammer so she can't tell her mum.

I was working in an iPhone store in Norwich when a man came! He said, "Give me a hat-trick or I will destroy your store!" I said, "No," and he started to smash phones! I immediately screamed, "Important game!" and he disappeared! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my store! 😡😡

My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)

What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?

Smash.

(Get it?) 9/11.

What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.

When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.

I was doing a 10km run with my good friend Pessi. As we were setting up our smart watches, the watch voice asked us if we wanted to do a solo run or a group run.

Pessi proceeded to smash both our watches and shout, “I don’t want solo run, I want Penalty!”

Shame on you, Pessi!

Q: What did Darth Vader say to his smashed wristwatch?

A: I find your lack of face disturbing.

You call him the holy cross. I call it the rejected Smash character.

How are babies and watermelons similar?

They are both fun to smash open with a sledgehammer and eat the insides.

Sonic says: "Gotta go fast!"

The Hulk SMASH!

Orphan says: "Gotta go home!"

What did the 19-year-old say to the 12-year-old?

Wanna play Mario Smash Bros without Mario or his bros?

Are you the Twin Towers? Because I would smash you.

My friend is gay lol. I'm a spagetie fucc, lemme smash, Becky!

Me, smashes mouse after losing a match; everybody at the pet race: :O

Yo momma's so fat, she rolled out the bed, out the room, down the stairs, smashed through the window, rolled down the road, and got stuck in the Grand Canyon.

What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.

I rode to the bottle shop on my bike yesterday. I bought a whole bottle of wine and put it in the basket on the front of my bike.

Then I thought, if I fell off my bike on the way back home, it would smash and shatter. So I drank all the wine and threw away the bottle.

It was a good idea, because I fell off my bike about four times on the way back.

My mom smashed my Xbox, so I smashed her daughter. 😏

I found an alien in my backyard. I put him to work. He went to a farm, and I never saw him again. Moments later, he is on the Daily Planet acting as a reporter. A green rock smashed my house. I called him back, and he passed out.

I remarked, "You lazy!"