You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.
A Chinese drunk and a Jewish drunk are sitting together on a park bench.
After finishing his drink, the Jew takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Chinese drunk.
"What the hell was that for?" asks the Chinese man, rubbing his head.
"That was for Pearl Harbor!" replies the Jewish drunk.
"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!" he exclaims in return.
"Eh, Chinese, Japanese, Korean... you're all the same to me," the Jewish man explains as he gets up to leave.
The next day, the two drunks are back on the same park bench. The Chinese drunk suddenly takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Jew.
"Why the hell did you do that?" the Jewish man stammers.
"That was for the Titanic!" explains the Chinese drunk.
"The Titanic? What are you talking about? No one attacked it, it sunk when it hit an iceberg!" the Jew replies.
"Eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg... you're all the same to me," the Chinese drunk happily retorts.
My mom smashed my Xbox, so I smashed her daughter. š
What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?
Smash.
(Get it?) 9/11.
Yo mama so dumb, when her computer was asking for cookies, she grabbed a cookie, smashed it onto the screen, and broke the computer.
Are you the twin towers because I would smash you
My dad smashed my PS5, so I smashed his wife.
You smash me so hard, I gave her the D.
A big guy told the small guy, "Do you want a little pill because you look ill, or should I smash you?"
What do you do after raping a deaf mute eight-year-old girl? Smash the little bitch's hands with a hammer so she can't tell her mum.
How is a beer can and an Indian the same? You can find them both smashed on the side of the road!
Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!
What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.
Smash or pass?
"Smash," said the iceberg.
TItanic:...
What did one iceberg say to the other iceberg as the Titanic went by?
"I'd smash that."
I found an alien in my backyard. I put him to work. He went to a farm, and I never saw him again. Moments later, he is on the Daily Planet acting as a reporter. A green rock smashed my house. I called him back, and he passed out.
I remarked, "You lazy!"
My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)
Me: Do you like smash?
Friend: Smash Rolls?
Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS!
Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)
I was doing a 10km run with my good friend Pessi. As we were setting up our smart watches, the watch voice asked us if we wanted to do a solo run or a group run.
Pessi proceeded to smash both our watches and shout, āI donāt want solo run, I want Penalty!ā
Shame on you, Pessi!
I was working in an iPhone store in Norwich when a man came! He said, "Give me a hat-trick or I will destroy your store!" I said, "No," and he started to smash phones! I immediately screamed, "Important game!" and he disappeared! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my store! š”š”
