Size

Size Jokes

Foot

Why are women’s feet so small?

So they can stand closer to the sink.

Bun

How did the hamburger know he needed new pants?

His buns were too tight.

Teacher

The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”

No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”

Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”

Little Mary’s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!”

The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”

Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”

Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Billy,” then turned to Mary and continued.

“As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn’t read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.”

Shooting

Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:

Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.

Nickname

A nickname to call your short GF:

Little ankle biter Master Yoda Hasbula My little Ewok

Yo mama

Yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it says, "To be continued."

Yo mama

Yo mama so fat, when she took a picture of herself, her phone ran out of storage.

Mum

Your mum so fat that when she sat down she said, "Why are there so many people under me?"

Mom

Your mom is so fat that she cannot look at her feet when taking a shower.

Mama

Yo mama so fat that she needs 12 queen size mattresses to go to sleep.

Loyalty

The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)

Family

Why are Mexican families so big?

They don’t know how to put a condom on.

Yo mama

Yo mama's so fat, when she went to the beach in a blue dress, everyone screamed "tsunami!"

Mama

Yo mama so thick, they need an aircraft carrier to take her places.