Size jokes
Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.
How is the world's fattest avocado called?
Niko
Q: What do you call a tsunami?
A: Your mom's water breaking.
Your mom is so fat the space shuttle can see her from 10,000 miles away.
Your forehead is so big they call you the Leaning Tower of Forehead!
Yo mama so fat when she stepped on a scale, it said... "Error!"
You're so skinny, you can barely fit through a door crack.
Yo mama so fat... she brought a spoon... to the SUPER BOOOOOOWL! YEAHHHHHHH!!!!!
Your forehead so big you got to take Tylenol pills, big like chocolate chip cookies.
Your forehead is so big that you dream on IMAX.
The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!
Man, Uranus is so big!
What do you call a feminazi that has a dick the size of a Vienna Sausage?
Fudge Packer.
Yo mama so fat, her birth certificate was an apology letter.
Boy, your forehead so big, I can make a launchpad on that shit!
The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”
No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”
Little Mary’s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!”
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”
Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Billy,” then turned to Mary and continued.
“As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn’t read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.”
You’re so short, you could use a pillow as your bed and still have some wiggle room.
Your mama is so fat, it said "To be continued..." then it loaded and said "One person at a time!"
Why are cows 🐮 so big? To scare babies 👶.
Yo mama so fat, when she ordered a water bed they gave her the Pacific Ocean.