Size jokes
I bet when you take a bath, they give you the whole pool. No, better yet, the ocean!
Your forehead is big. God said dude that's bigger than me and I'm infinitely big!
Your forehead is so big, I took a picture of it last Christmas, and it’s still printing.
Yo mama so fat she sat on an iPhone and turned it into an iPad.
What's the smallest stick in the world?
Your man's dick.
I go to Venus to get a bigger penis.
You're so fat that you're as big as UY Scuti!
Yo mama so fat, when she went into an elevator, she had to go down.
Yo mama so fat that when she sits, she makes a 7.4 earthquake.
Yo mama so fat, when she got ran over, the van did a 360 flip to Mars!
Why does Donald Trump love little boys? Because his hands look massive when he’s holding their tiny little prepubescent cocks.
Why are Mexican families so big?
They don’t know how to put a condom on.
Me: God, Bryce, do we really have to talk about this again?
Bryce: What?
Me: You're still talking shit!! I already told you! It's 9 inches! Stop saying it's 3!
P.S. I'm a girl.
Your mama was so fat that she sunk the Titanic!
What is large, grey, and it doesn't matter? An Irrelephant! Hahahahahahahahaha! Hahaha!
Your forehead is so big, you could roast meat on it.
Your mom is so fat Buzz Lightyear had to say "To infinity to beyond" to leave her house.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Atoms are small, But so are you!
Bully: You're so short you hand-glide on a chip.
Short person: Well, at least I don’t look like a giraffe that just came out of an oven!
What's a benefit of being an orphan? The chips always come in a family size :)
What do orphans call a family photo? A selfie.