Sister jokes

So one time I was looking up the definition of "accident" because I was a little dumbo and didn’t know what it meant. Then my sister walks up behind me and points at the word and says, “That’s you!” (meaning that I was an accident).

A few minutes later, we had a big family meeting and my dad said to my sister, “Sweetie, you were an accident. We didn’t mean to make you, but we still love you with everything we’ve got.”

My sister never talked to me again and left the house. She was 17 when she left. Seriously, 17-year-olds just never mature, huh?

Hi guys, the prankster is back!

I was gone for a long time because of this bullying about a nice sweet girl named Gwen! So my 6th prank is on...

When I put some bad stuff in my sister's toothpaste bottle!

Okay, so I took some smelly mints from the jelly bean game! I had molded cheese jelly bean, molded milk, and worms jelly bean! Jelly bean tasting is this game where weird tasted jelly beans are in there, so I got some mints and put it there! Then next thing you knew was, my sassy ass sister had her breath smelling like a chimpanzee's buttock!

This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"

If your sister steps on your toe, what will you call it?

Who's in my ass?

Your sister.

I threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters. The teacher was upset. I guess they don't read the news.

Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:

"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"

Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"

Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."

Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."

My parents raised me as an only child, which infuriated my sister.

Sister: You're so stupid.

Me: Calling me stupid doesn't make you any smarter!

What's the difference between sex and gender?

You can't have gender with your sister.

When I get jokes. They aren't f****** restarted like you.

My sister.

I saw my sisters masturbating with cucumbers and hotdogs.

I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like hotdogs and cucumbers!"

Your sister is so stupid, when she saw Mountain Dew, she went to the top of a mountain to get it.

Suck!

Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?

Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)

Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.

Me: *Confused*

Sister: They're both horrible.

Kylin fucks his sister.

I have trash so I throw it at my sister and say that she is a trash can.

Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?

So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.

Knock, knock.

Who is there?

Deez.

Deez who?

Deez nuts!

I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"