Signal jokes

According to the Police report, what did one traffic signal say to the other?

"Roxanne, you don't have to put on the red light..."

Your forehead's so big, NASA uses it to test satellite signals.

You're so skinny that a Wi-Fi signal is stronger.

Name: Jack, call sign "triple".

School: Nova corps gun academy.

Location: Wyoming mountains.

BlessedBrian’s sense of humor is like a GPS without signal... LOST and going NOWHERE.

Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.

The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.

"We're searching for two child molesters," he says.

The driver leans over to the other priest, and they whisper between themselves.

Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."

What did the blonde say when asked if her turn signal worked?

“Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.”

Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.

In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.

The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"

There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”

Once I took a test on waving signal flags.

They said I passed with flying colors.

Your hairline is lookin' so crusty like KFC chicken and be so discombobulated that it looks like satellite signals. It gives me flippin' sun radiation.

The FitnessGramTM Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20-meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

Level 1 Feel it One Two Three Four Five Six Seven; end of level one.

Yo mama so fat, I stood next to her and lost cell phone reception.

Q: What did the stop light say to the other stop light?

A: Stop looking, I’m changing!

My Wi-Fi must be Kobe, because it crashed hard.

What did the traffic light say to the truck?

"Don't look, I'm about to change!"

Are you Wi-Fi? Because I think I am finding a connection.

On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.

When I give you the signal, I want you to roll down your window and call the oncoming cyclist a prick.

What happens when an alien connects with your device?

The alien says on your device: ".-- . / - .-. .- ...- . .-.. / ..-. .-. --- -- / -- .- -. -.-- / -- .- -. -.-- / --. .- .-.. .- -..- -.-- ..."