Shutting Jokes

Mom shut up me I don't shut up I grow up when I look at you I throw up

me shut up! if you don't shut up i'm gonna tell your parents

you why? I don't have any

Ever heard of account stealing? Ever heard of someone by the name of "#SHUT THE HELL UP GWEN DON'T EVEN DATE PRINCE ON FACE BOOK!!!!!!!! I HATE IT WHEN UR HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?"

I’m going to reenact the ending of Saw (2004), except I won’t stand up and shut the door.

wdid u know that stephon hawking deth was by accident because he pressed shut down instead of sleep mode

Why don’t I shut myself all the time. I can only fit so many pares of kid in my mouth and stomach at the same time.

What's a deaf kids favourite words?

Shut up.

Farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm says this is the pig I'm fucking she say u idiot that's a sheep he says shut up I wasn't talking to you

Mommy mommy! Are we dragons? Shut up and don’t breathe on the drapes.

Mommy mommy! Are you an archer? Shut up and keep the apple on your head still.

A little girl said to her mom "MOM MY BUTTS CRACKED KISS IT KISS IT"her mom said "sweetie SHUT UP ITS ALWAYS BEEN THERE" then her daughter died cuz of her melodramaticness.

bully: your a loser and fat me: shut up the camera thought you were a house

Little Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher said, "okay everyone, Tomorrow you must come to school and recite the first three letters of the alphabet". Johnny didn't know the alphabet so he decided to ask his family. He walked in the kitchen to find his mom on the phone. He says, "Mamma, what's the first letter of the alphabet?" His mom doesn't notice him standing there and says, "If you don't shut the fuck up right now-" So he goes to find his brother watching TV and he says, "Tommy what's the Second letter of the alphabet?" His brother doesn't notice him and says, "I'm Batman". So He went to his Grandma who was knitting and says, "Grandma what's the third letter of the Alphabet?" The grandma then realizes she left her biscuits in the oven for too long and says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!" Satisfied with the answers given to him he thinks it over and goes to school the next morning. When his teacher come to Johnny she says, "Johnny what are the first three letters of the alphabet?" "If you don't shut the fuck up right now" - Johnny "Who do you think you are young man to talk to someone like me that way?" - teacher "I'm Batman" - Johnny The teacher whups his ass and little johnny says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!"

Later that day he understands what happened and can't tell which was worse that he accidentally cussed to his teacher or that his family was ignoring him.

My phone was at 10% and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen hawkin

Mommy mommy! Are we Drug dealers? Shut up and cut the coke.

Gwen, u need to shut up! For once!

Friend: Slavery isnt good Other friend: Yea its terrible Me: shut up and get me a juice

So my kid every time I walk in the door he shuts his laptop so i check his history It was good but my wife checked mine and she didn't say the same the words I head was get out.

I finally got my wife to shut up.Who knew all I had to do was bury her alive all these years ha! try telling me to get my feet off the couch now karen!