Shutting Jokes

Whats the difference between a boring teacher and a boring book? You can shut the book up

jesus and satan are just basically homer and flanders. one tries to help the other, only for satan to just say "shut up".

What did one fish say to the other?

Keep your mouth shut and you'll never get caught.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

"Mommy, mommy, where's my school dress...ewww!" "Shut up and leave the bedroom."

(Bully) boy you ugly

(Me) boy shut up thats why your hairline start at the back of your head

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I told an orphan two never stop talking until their parents come home

Now I can’t get it to shut up

So three daughters were sitting in the same room as their mother, the first daughter asked why she was named Daisy. So the mother replies “Because when we were taking you out of the hospital, a daisy landed on your forehead.” The second daughter asked why she was named Rose. So the mother explained “Same as Daisy, when you we were taking you out of the hospital, a rose petal landed on your forehead.” The third daughter then said “ksvrjxbdkavdowbxksb” so the mother said “Shut Up Brick!”

Two cows were hiding.One said:"Moooo" The other one said:"Shut up! We're hiding!"

One day leaf asks mom, “mom, why am I named leaf?” Mom says “because when you were a baby a leaf fell on your head.” The next day feather asks mom “ mommy, why am I named feather?” Mom says “ when your were a baby a feather fell on your head.” The next day brick asks mom “rhsisvrkanx” mom says, shut up brick!

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Mommy mommy! Are we Vampires? Shut up and drink your soup before it clots.

why where the twin towers mad? cause they order pepperoni and got plane. (yes its plain, shut)

Me: *posts random joke about a duck*

That one guy in the comment section for no reason: Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you...

That other guy in the comment section: that’s actually offensive to ducks

Bro it’s a joke....

Why did Stephan hawkings die ... because he pressed shut down instead of sleep

A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink, the bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk, the lady complained about this but then the bartender said, "just shut up and swallow"