Short jokes
"Goodness, that's what Post Malone sounds like?"
"Give me some pre-Malone hip hop any day!"
If a vegan and a vegan have a fight, is it still considered beef?
When the police saw your hairline, they gave your barber a breathalyzer test.
"Chairing is caring, folks!"
You are like Papa.
Friends don't lie.
Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?
To get the milk and to get to the dark side.
Why does America have more guns than people?
I found your parent!
What is Steve Harrington's favorite musical?
Hairspray.
What award does the Demogorgon get? A Emmygorgon.
What is Gaten Matarazzo's favorite song?
"Dust in the Wind."
My friends' titties are bigger than my sakuras.
Say the drive through at McDonald's, order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them, "My sake?" and say, "Sake that ass."
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
A guy went back to his apartment. Five minutes later, he said to the receptionist, "It doesn't fit!" So she gave him a new key.
What did Al-Shehhi say to Mohamed Atta?
"We are on time!"
I'll really mist ya.
Alles tut weh.
I wish the grass in my backyard was emo.
So it can cut itself.
You're just big and good.