Short jokes
Why are blinds called blinds?
Because when they aren’t closed, they are blinding!
Yo mama so fat the last time I saw 90210 was when she stepped on the scale.
Lucky for me I'm only 210.
I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.
He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"
Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"
Why did the baby cow cross the road?
To find its mom who has the milk.
She's so fat that when she steps onto a wood floor, the floorboard doesn't creak, it screams: "Goddamn!!!" before it snaps from the weight.
If I fantasize about fucking a UCP Cabinet Minister,
Does that mean I'm sexually Conservative?
What is it called when corn stalks have a baby?
The cream of the crop.
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi? Because they can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
Q: Why did the ballerina get kicked off the squad?
She was standing way too close to the dancers.
What’s the last balloon George Floyd blew up - his heroin ballon
Someone: Didn’t we already meet somewhere?
Me: Yeah. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.
Nutty.
Why don’t babies pollinate flowers?
God chose Plan B.
Are you a rope? Let's hang out by a tree and drink :)
You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.
Friend: I must order more nuts.
Why the "hell" is this here?
Why did the Irishman use three condoms? To be sure, to be sure, to be sure!
Why are you dumb? Because you can’t find LOLA.
Your forehead is so fucking big, I had to call an Uber to get across the eyebrows to your hairline.
I know it's bad, sorry.
In the year 2020, who were the biggest enemies?
Coronavirus and toilet paper.