Short jokes
What do math and me on P-hub have in common?
They are both hard.
How do rappers stay cool?
They use RAP-SICLES.
What did the rapper say to the microphone?
"You better DROP THE BEAT, or I'll drop YOU!"
How do rappers like their coffee?
With a little bit of RAP-PUCCINO.
Why was the rapper always calm during performances?
Because he had a rap-titude for chillin'!
Why did the rapper take a bath before his concert?
To get his flow SQUEAKY CLEAN!
What do you call a rapper who loves to cook?
A mixtape chef.
Why was the rapper always late?
Because he had to drop his kids off at the Rhyme Bus.
What did the DJ say to the VEGETABLE?
"Lettuce turnip the beet!"
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
Because he had too many FILL-INS.
How do you know if a rapper is lying?
His rhymes don't add up.
Why did the rapper carry a notebook everywhere?
To jot down his RAP-SODIES.
Why was the rapper always in good shape?
Because he never skipped a beat!
Why did the rapper become an archaeologist?
Because he wanted to dig for old-school beats!
Why didn't the movie star argue with the customer service clerk?
He didn't have a good counter act!
Me: Which WiFi are we on?
Coworker: Should be floor 89.
Me: What about flight 104?
Coworker: Oh crap!
"Room, you on."
NEWS: A man kidnapped a 13-year-old girl.
MOM OF GIRL: The man had a shady face and a receding hairline.
My mom interrupted my gaming session to tell me to hang up the lights.
I hung something else instead.
If y'all gotta crush on me, tell me now before my dad spends my Valentine's money on crack and alcohol.