Short jokes
My parents created a joke 11 years ago and people are still laughing at it, but I know it's not me because jokes have meaning.
One of my friends got a haircut, and everyone giggled and bullied him... I didn’t, I died of laughter 😂
Your hairline is so far back that it made every country on earth disappear.
Where can you donate an aborted fetus?
Your local pizzeria.
Your forehead is so big you have to wear a hoodie for the Rock to see your ego because your forehead is so big.
What dessert do you get on September 11th?
An ice cream flight!
Why is Jenna Marbles so funny? She lost all her marbles.
What's an orphan's favorite flower?
A self-raising flower.
Why do orphans miss Mother’s Day? Because they don’t have a mother to give to!
If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?
Iron Man is just a golden retriever with a red background.
What do you call someone who’s afraid of breaststroke? Chicken breast.
Me: It's so sad Ironman died of ligma. You: What the heck is an Ironman? Me: Ligma balls. "snap" ^kaboom^
Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna step on your ass!
TONIGHT
FOR FUN
YEAH YEAH YEAH
What did the neutron say to the atom?
"Sandwiches, dude!"
Why can't the Ctrl key cross the road? Because it is an 8-lane highway.
What do you call Panera bread when it’s on top of someone?
Panera head.
Why can't men play baseball?
Because no one can take the word "balls" seriously anymore.
Stig
What do a banana and shampoo have in common?
Ur mom.