Short jokes
Your forehead is so big even Mega Mind knew you were smarter.
This isn't really a joke, but it's true. Your picture for your funeral may have already been taken :)
What do you call Tarzan when he swings through the trees backwards?
Nazrat.
What did the helicopter say to the mountain?
Kobe!!!
Just send me to hell already.
The view is so much better without those twins covering the city.
Well, that was a blow up!
How did the burglar get into my house?
Intruder window.
My sad ass life.
I bet a disabled kid on a wheelchair that if he could catch me, I'd give him 1000 dollars. He said deal, and I went upstairs.
"Sike, I lied, your dick is dry."
Hellen Keller walked into a bar... then a table... then a chair.
What's one thing you'll never find in lost and found?
Your dad.
Why do emos like yo-yo's? Cos they get strangled by the string.
I've got an impressive record at Russian roulette. Retired after one loss ever.
Yo mama so stupid that she had an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
It's all fun and games until someone fails at becoming Superman.
Why do people want to jump off buildings?
Because they want to become Superman.
Why don’t orphans have parents?
'Cause they were abandoned.
Your forehead is so big you could have put an H for Kobe to land on.
Why would an orphan kill his family? Because they weren't there.
What can fly underwater?
A mosquito in a submarine.