Short jokes
Why did Michael Jackson rush over to K-Mart one morning?
Because he heard little boys' pants were half off!
Why are orphans lucky? Because they don’t need a license plate because they don’t have a home.
What is the difference between a kid's dad and his cancer?
The cancer came back.
Don’t cry when you attend my funeral, I was dead long ago so why cry now?
What do you call an orphan living with ghosts?
"Him and his dead family." :(
What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!
Halloween! The day nobody questions the bodies dangling in your tree!
You look as fat as a pig.
Kid: You're so fat!
Other kid: At least fat can be changed, but your ugly face can't be.
What’s the difference between anal sex and vegetables? One is cruel to the person getting it in, the other is vegetables.
What do you call a group of brothers who fuck one another?
Super Smash Bros.
What do lovely men and tampons have in common?
Both lick up the juices of the women they were made for.
If Kenny had a son, we all know he would also be his brother.
"Jack and Jill run up the hill to have sex but in a text a sibling sayed I’m on a hill sleeping with a mex. foursome peace love and biches."
1, 2, 3, 4, your sis is such a whore,
5, 6, 7, 8, she has cum on her face.
Mom: Remember, you can tell me anything.
Abbie: I had sex with dad.
Mom: Go die in a hole!
It's Caesar salad.
Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.
Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!
What do you call an accomplished opera singer with recurring gonorrhea?
Standing ovation!
What's a dead person's favorite sentence?
"I made it."