Short jokes
When the Two Towers ordered pizza, all they got was plane.
My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.
The moment when you're too depressed to fantasize about death--it's so tiring.
How did the orphan go to school?
Not by his parents.
Why Satan didn't stop sending messages to God about hell?
'Cause they made a juice out of him.
Why is there a 76 button on a bottle of ketchup?
To bring sweet luck.
What do you get when you goblin with a shark?
What's the only thing with 4 legs Asians don't eat? A table.
Why do orphans mehfjekskkskdjfjdkdkks?
Josh: What’s the useless piece of skin around the vagina called?
Daniel: Isn’t it the women?
Josh: Oh yes, that’s right.
What is a cannibal's favorite type of pizza?
Domi-nose.
Why did Michael Jackson rush over to K-Mart one morning?
Because he heard little boys' pants were half off!
Why are orphans lucky? Because they don’t need a license plate because they don’t have a home.
What is the difference between a kid's dad and his cancer?
The cancer came back.
Don’t cry when you attend my funeral, I was dead long ago so why cry now?
What do you call an orphan living with ghosts?
"Him and his dead family." :(
What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!
Halloween! The day nobody questions the bodies dangling in your tree!
You look as fat as a pig.
Kid: You're so fat!
Other kid: At least fat can be changed, but your ugly face can't be.