Short jokes
My friend asked me why I know how to tie a noose.
I told them, "because I’m such a noose-ance."
What's the difference between necrophilia and a choking fetish? 15 seconds.
Who the heck is Kristie?
Omg, shut up guys!
I think people should date orphans, because their parents are never home.
Your daddy's so fat, he tripped over a rock. He thought it was a chip.
Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?
In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢
How do Chinese parents name their children?
Dropping a pan down the stairs. Bing, Bong, Dong.
Q: Wanna see something funny?
A: Sure.
*bomb Florida*
Your hairline is so bent, not even NASA can find it.
Q: What did one dead hooker say to the other dead hooker?
A: Nothing, dead hookers don't talk.
Why can't gay people have hairlines? Because it's not straight.
Twin towers are like identical twins, and I threw a paper airplane.
What did the blender say to the orange juice?
"What the fuck are you, you are so fucking stupid, shut the fuck up."
How do I get out of the toilet seat? Help me, please. I'm very stuck!
You: What do you call a door knob without the lock?
Me: I don't know.
You: Are you sure?
Me: I don't know.
You: Okay.
Why are you mad because no one wants to adopt me?
My mom said I rely on my devices too much, so I unplugged her life support.
Orphan: Favorite song?
My name:
Why are orphans gay?
They call everyone "daddy."