Short jokes

Why didn't the orphan do the work?

Because when the teacher says they would call your mum or dad, there's nobody to call.

What's the only gun that doesn't exist in Africa?

A water gun.

Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."

What do you call a porn star that always goes back for more?

Craven Morehead.

Hey, yesterday I played with my sister. When I woke up, she was gone.

Some marriages can make short people look like Shaquille O'Neal.

My friend that used to be married was making jokes about me being short. Then I told him, "Your marriage was so short it made me look like Shaquille O'Neal."

Your forehead is so big, even Galactus says, "Wow, that's big!"

What bees make milk?

Boob bees.

What do bees make milk from?

Boobees.

Little Jonny, what you like airplane? How? Because you fly fast and jump high.

I used to be a fan, but after seeing her OnlyFans account, I'm a whole air conditioner.

I know a Chinese joy rider, Tommy Tookamotor.

P1: What's the difference between a kid and a hooker?

P2: I don't know.

P1: Wow, you sick fuck!

What do you call a rabbit with a crooked dick?

Fucks funny.

"Hey, what's the Russian president's name?" "Putin?" "Yeah, Putin deez nuts in yo mouth!"

What's the difference between a violinist and a dog?

The dog knows when to stop scratching.

What do you call a dwarf that fell into a cement mixer?

A wee hard man.

A customer asked me to look at their hairline. I time traveled back to the dinosaurs.

What do teen mothers and their unborn babies have in common?

They're both thinking "Oh my God, my mom's gonna kill me!"