Short jokes
My Son: "Mummy, why is my name Thomas?"
Me: "Because the night you were conceived, I had a train run on me."
Roses are red, violets are blue.
My heart is dead.
I’m such a fool.
Why did I fall for you?
Why do old people swallow popcorn kernels?
To make their cremation more entertaining when they die.
You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.
And an exorcism.
Q. What do Canadian women and Canadian beer have in common? A. They're both stronger than they look.
Why does Michael Jackson avoid Pepsi? They gave him a hot one.
What’s the best kind of candy to offer at a Pride parade?
Skittles.
What does Michael Jackson like?
Teabags.
Q: How do you stop babies from being conceived through incest?
A: Cum on your cousin's face.
What is an example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.
Why was 10 scared? Because of 9/11.
What do you call a man with a Johnny on his nose? Fuck nose.
How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?
Push?! He fell...
What's Osama bin Laden's favorite football team? New York Jets!!!
What’s one good thing about pedophiles?
They drive slow in school zones.
Old McDonald cuts himself. E-m E-m-O!
Which scary movie did the bear refuse to watch?
The Bear Witch Project.
What’s the worst thing about having a sister with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What do a plastic bag and Jeffery Epstein have in common?
They're both dangerous to children.
Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?
A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.