Short jokes
What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?
"Just Beat It."
Why is Jeffrey Epstein so bad at races?
Because he comes in a little behind.
What do strippers and butter have in common?
Both spread for bread.
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
What do nail polish and panties have in common?
Both come off with alcohol.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Fuck.
Fuck who?
Fuck off!
Why did the football player go to the bank?
To get his quarter back.
What is better, autism or Down syndrome?
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.
Yo mama so fat, she stepped on the scale and it said a.k.a. "error."
Are you a razor? 'Cause you make me red.
Are you a mental hospital? Cause I need to be in you.
Vegan is actually an old Indian word for "bad hunter."
I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.
Nothing much, I just decided to go home.
What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?
They usually don’t live to tell the tale.
What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?
"Hi, nice to meet you."
It's telling that Ye gets more offended when he's called a gayfish than a Nazi.
It's no surprise Donald Trump moved to Florida. That's where the oranges are.
How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
What do Black people and chains have in common? Both work better with chains on them?