A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."
He was in the infantry.
Shooting Jokes
TV: SCHOOL SHOOTING 13 DIED.
Father: Guns cause all these problems!
Kid playing FNAF security breach *bang* *Bang*
Kid: WOLF PU&EY WOLF PU^$Y WOLF PU*#Y
Me: How does this thing work?
ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.
ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*
Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.
What do you call a nazi that can’t see?
A nozi.
So, as a school shooter, I try to remember my ABC's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN!
And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speak to me about the rest.
My ex-wife misses me, but her aim is getting better.
Why did the school shooter earn extra points?
Because he was on a kill streak.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
Q: Why are school shooting jokes funny?
A: Because they're intended for a young audience.
What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?
One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.
I took a special needs child to a shooting range.
Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.
Why do American guns only have 30 bullets?
'Cause that's how many kids are in a class.
Mother got shot, damn.
Father got shot, damn.
Sister got shot, damn.
Brother got shot, damn.
Auntie running away with a shotgun!
When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,
other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."
I don’t like to tell school shooter jokes because they are usually aimed at a younger audience.
Are you a school? Because I want to shoot kids inside you.
Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.
Students: Hiding under desk.
Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!
In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.
A guy walks into a bar with a .44 magnum and yells: "Who the fuck fucked my wife?"
Everybody is silent for a second, then the bartender said: "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets!"
Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.
I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.
