Shooting jokes
Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"
Shooter: "Oops."
Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.
David: I will surpass Kakarot!
Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*
Why did the school shooter earn extra points?
Because he was on a kill streak.
Hate me all you want, but I rather love bullying in all fairness. I love to watch all the loner kids being abused while simultaneously making a prediction for when which one of them will finally snap and shoot up the school.
What do you call a nazi that can’t see?
A nozi.
Why do American guns only have 30 bullets?
'Cause that's how many kids are in a class.
After the school shooting, Joe pretended to be a victim while his sister ate the flesh of the fallen.
One of the students reported a school shooting.
That fucking snitch...
Teacher: We have a new student today class, come introduce yourself.
Student: My name is Buttitches.
Teacher: Please tell us your real name.
Student: Buttitches.
Teacher: I’m calling the police.
Police: Son, please tell me your real name or I’m going to shoot you.
Student: Buttitches.
Police: *shoots gun.*
A few days later, the police go to the funeral and sits behind the mom. While crying, the mom says, "My Buttitches!" The police say, "We’ll scratch it, lady."
I looked up how fast cum shoots and it said 28 mph. That means that ejaculation is illegal in school zones!
What does a cop say when you shoot a ginger?
I guess orange is the new black.
Roses are red, I reload fast...
I'm gonna pull up to your school, bitch you better run fast!
How do you prevent a physics teacher from drowning? Shoot her before she touches the water.
Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?
A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.
How do you kill time?
Easy! Taking alarm clock and an assault rifle.
After the drive-by, Tupac became known as Pewpac.
What takes knowledge to do and also takes knowledge away?
Looking down the barrel and pulling the trigger. 😂
A group of Astronauts, a Mechanic, a Pilot, & a Communications operator are on a very important mission to Mars when one of their solar panels gets grazed by a meteorite.
And so the Astronauts quickly assemble in the hull to wait for orders from the ground. Once the Communications operator turned on coms, their man on the ground told the Pilot to continue their course & to send the Mechanic out to fix the problem. As the Mechanic worked on finishing repairing the solar panel, the Pilot & Communications operator told each other dark jokes when out of nowhere a meteorite field appeared! The Ground operator frighteningly shouted "Get him back in the ship!" to the Communications operator. "Chill out, he'll be fine," The Pilot assured him. "Get him the hell out of there, that's an order!" The Ground operator argued. Then thirty seconds later the Communications operator came back from the air shoot & asked, "Now what?"
How many times did Rob O'Neill shoot Bin Laden? 911 times.
An African man visits his friend in the US.
“I just flew in yesterday,” the African man says. “And boy are my arms tired!”
“You know, that’s kind of an old joke here in America,” replied his friend.
“Joke?” the African man said. “I’ve been holding my hands in the air yelling ‘don’t shoot’ ever since I got to this damn country!”