Shooting jokes

Sonic says... April 1st is the best day to do a school shooting. They will think it’s a joke! 😃

A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."

He was in the infantry.

What are American schools?

Shooting ranges.

GF: Laying down.

BF: GROANING

GF: Are you good at aiming and shooting?

BF: Yeah, why?

GF: Shoot that did in there.

BF: Mmmhuugh

Why do Americans always win gold at the shooting Olympics?

Because they practice at the best schools.

I am the ice cream man running over fat kids with my van. If you touch my van, I’ll smack you in the face with a frying pan. If you steal ice cream, I’ll shoot you in the face with a fudge machine.

What's the difference between a Black person and a white person?

Black people don't shoot up schools.

1, 2, I have a gun.

3, 4, I am in a school.

5, 6, Everyone on the ground!

The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: to be shot, to be hung, or to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.

So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.

Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap, he was dead.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.

Finally, the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"

The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom!"

When you are sleeping in class and the shooter sees you, then they wake you up and say, "Let’s team up," like, what the f*ck?

Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?

Because every time she sang the line “fire away,” someone started shooting!

So, as a school shooter, I try to remember my ABC's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN!

And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speak to me about the rest.

You know shit is going down when anything pumped up kicks related is brought into school.

Ramsey Bevan

What does an autistic kid and a porn video have in common? You can shoot both of them, just not in public.

I was playing Warzone last night, and I shot my teammate that said they were emo. When I shot him, another player did, and it said "assist kill."

I was gonna go to a shooting gallery, but I realized that schools aren't open on Sundays.

Did you hear about the bull who went on a shooting rampage?

I guess he was a little deranged.

Q: Why did Hitler shoot himself?

A: Because his mother taught him to take out the trash.

I took a special needs child to a shooting range.

Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.