Shes jokes

A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"

She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.

He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"

I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"

Yo mama so fat that she broke the scale when she put one foot on it.

Yo mama is so fat that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl and a plate and ketchup to the red zone.

A girl came to my house. She said, "Where are your parents?" I started crying.

There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

Son said, "But I can't see."

Mom said, "That's the point."

An emo man asked a librarian for a suicide book. She said no because you won't bring it back.

Found this girl in Hawaii.

Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."

Why did the orphan become a str1pper?

So she can have someone to call daddy.

Yo mom's so old, she was happily accepted into the museum.

I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.

The teacher called Little Johnny to her desk. She said: “This essay you’ve written about your pet dog is exactly the same essay your brother has written.”

“Of course it is,” said Johnny. “It’s the same dog.”

I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”

– Rodney Dangerfield

A: Why are you so sad?

B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.

A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?

B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie!

My wife says sex is even better on holiday. I wish she didn’t tell me via email.

Your mama's so fat when she sat on the toilet, the toilet said, "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, get your fat ass off of me!"

When Ariana Grande broke up with Pete, she said, "I have one less problem without you."

Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued," and it said, "Fuck you."

Went to see a psychic the other day.

I knocked on the door, and she said, "Who is it?"

So I turned around and left.

Your mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the concrete cracked up.