Shes jokes

A couple were trying new things in the bedroom to spice up their marriage. The husband would blindfold the wife, put on a condom and she would guess the flavor. They did this one time a night.

The first night, she put the blindfold on and he put the condom on his dick and she tasted it, she immediately knew it was strawberry. The second night, the same thing happened except it was banana. The third night, she put the blindfold on and tasted his dick and said, "Eww it tastes like cheese and onions." The husband replied, "Hang on I haven't put the condom on yet."

Why did the silly girl put sugar under her pillow?

She wanted to have sweet dreams. 😂

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Not Sally.

What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?

She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.

Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.

Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway, and that even if she didn’t, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.

I once told Siri, "Hey Siri, why am I still single?" She opened the front camera.

One day I got home and told my girlfriend, "I cheated on you." She replied with, "F**k you!" I then said, "But you won't, that's why I cheated on you."

My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!

Your mom is so fat that when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed, but the sidewalk cracked up.

Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regretted it. She left him too.

Your mom is so fat that she can't get internet because she is worldwide.

Hickory dickory dock. My wife avoids my cock. She's losing her and having an affair. So I had to slap Chris Rock.

So today I heard a friend say she had a stalker. I can confirm I've never seen a stalker following her.

Ariana Grande had 7 husbands, so she had 7 rings.

My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.

I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said "see them boy over there in the wheelchair, ask him to walk." I said, "but I’m blind." She responded, "Exactly."

My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.

yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale it told her "I wanted your weight not your phone number."

Yo mama so fat, she don't need the internet because she is already worldwide.

Yo mama's so dumb, when a robber stole her TV, she said, "You forgot the remote!"