Shes jokes

My favorite sex position is the JFK:

I splatter all over her as she screams and tries to get out of the car.

He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.

A man went to a library and asked the librarian if they had any books on suicide.

She replied "Oh fuck off, you won't bring it back!"

Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?

'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.

My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.

A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"

Yo mama so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn't let her leave.

Why is it inappropriate when guys say their girlfriends are their “Partners in Crime”?

Like we get it, bro, she’s underage.

Yo mama so ugly, just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yes, let's go bury it."

Yo mama's so ugly, she could make an onion cry.

Yo mama so dumb, when the doctor told her she had coronavirus, she bought a new laptop.

Yo mama's so poor that she only watches Frozen to hear Elsa sing "Let It Go."

My sister is so ugly that she had to have a child with me to keep the family tree going.

My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.

Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on the scale and it says, "Hey fat b****, break your fat a** in half so you won't weigh as much!"

Yo mama so fat that when she farted, Big Shaq took off his jacket.

Your momma's so fat that she is the Earth!

Yo mama is so stupid that she studied for a COVID test.

A girl is meeting this Muslim for a date, and she asks him, "So are you Indian?"

And the Muslim goes, "No, bitch, I ain't 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11!"

Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"

Why are Helen Keller jokes so funny?

Because she’s blind and deaf.