Shes jokes

How can you tell that a woman cannot fit through a vent because she got pregnant from a baby elephant? Ain't no telling who's in better shape, the elephant or the woman. I guess it's probably Weight Watchers.

Wow, Aiden, maybe you've been mean to Tenya. She is hurting, close to killing herself, but hey, I can pick your ass since, ya know, that is what I do!

Yo mama so fat that she needs her belly button to beat her home by 15 min.

Your classmate: You're so ugly.

Me: That's what your mom said when she had you and called you a mistake.

Yo mama so fat that when she went to KFC, she asked for the bucket on the roof.

My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!

He placed the chocolates and the flowers down beside her.

Silence...

And then at last she spoke...

"Unexpected item in the bagging area."

My wife accused me of cheating. I told her she started to sound like my wife.

My daughter is super smart! She pours her own drinks on the floor.

When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."

Yo mama so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn't let her leave.

Yo mama's so poor that she only watches Frozen to hear Elsa sing "Let It Go."

My sister is so ugly that she had to have a child with me to keep the family tree going.

Yo mama's so fat, when she sat down there was a big earthquake.

Yo mama so ugly, just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yes, let's go bury it."

Yo mama so dumb, when the doctor told her she had coronavirus, she bought a new laptop.

Your mama is so ugly, she makes the devil cry.

Your mama is so stupid that when she heard drinks were on the house, she grabbed a ladder.

An autistic woman walks into a bar. "A serving of Screaming Banshee, please," she says.

The bartender says, "Ok, you seem to like it, unlike a retired special ed teacher that passed through a few minutes ago."

I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm. She said, "Is it because I warned him when hotness came?" I said, "No, you don’t shut up!"