Shes jokes

Why did Amy Winehouse snort Splenda?

She thought it was Diet Coke.

My girlfriend told me her lips were dry, and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk.

I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.

Your mama is so nasty.

She showed up to Red Lobster with her own crabs.

Quote from Seth no.1: "I would have fought back, but she was seven."

What did the drunk emo say to the bartender?

Nothing, she was hung over.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she went for plastic surgery, they accidentally gave her face a Brazilian Butt Lift!

This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"

I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.

Daveon says, "Oh wow, she's so beautiful!" The doctor then says, "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states, "Give me the one my wife made then!"

Yo mama is so dumb, when she had a brain scan, the result was 404...

Yo mama is so dumb, she spent all her money on free subscriptions!

Yo mama is so clumsy, when she had her first kickboxing lesson, she kicked herself in the testicles.

I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"

My friend went to buy some milk, why is she not back yet?

My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.

Yo mama so fat, when she jumped, I didn’t laugh, but the floor cracked up.

Yo mamma so fat, when she tried to sit down the chair ran away.

Your mum so fat, she broke the stairs down to the fridge.

Yo mama so fat, when she falls, they have to call 999 and a crane to pick her up.